Monday, October 31, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Friday, September 23, 2011
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
There are definitely not any guys coming to my house trying to date me. I did try to flirt with the three repairmen that came on Friday. One was married (I don't know about the other two) and asked me if my boyfriend or husband could reattach the cover to my furnace. It was very sexist. And what did I do?
I made up a boyfriend. he was a office working piece of s who can't fix anything. This way the repair guy would just tell me how I could do it (which I did - all by myself). But it's probably the truth. My Dad can't fix anything. And I knew my Mom would yell at me if I admitted to the repair guy I lived alone. She wanted my Dad to come over while he was there. I swear she watches way too much "Dateline" or "Primetime" or whatever show Chris Hansen is catching predators on. I had more freedom as a teenager than I do now in my 30's.
Anyway, I guess I just needed a good rant about my annoying need for a fake boyfriend. I'm super busy right now, but wedding season is kicking up into full gear in the very near future. I promise I will post 5 times a week for the rest of the month.
Also, if anyone knows a good dream interpreter, let me know. I had the weirdest dream the other night - like woke me up it was so disturbing. It was disturbing because I was stuck with no way out (of a bodega in the projects with a old Asian lady and my friend Amy). Scary, no? Also included very realistic gang violence (according to the movies - I don't spend a ton of time in the projects - thanks to my Mom, Chris Hansen's biggest fan).
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Monday, September 5, 2011
I was going to do another installment of "The Dating Game" as I actually got on Match.com today and sent out a bunch of winks and messages (and all that other stuff). The prospects were good. Maybe babies are back from the summer finally. Maybe now that I've been in touch with the social media guy at Match.com he's throwing some good ones my way.
So you say...what happened? Why no descriptions of these hotty fatotties? Well my friends, my water heater decided to drain itself slowly at some point over the long weekend - all over the closet and the hallway. Yeah! And I discovered it this morning after I did my work on Match.com but before I could write a post. Has this ever happened to you? Non? Count yourself lucky. The carpet is so moist (sopping) and now has weird stains on it. And now I don't have hot water for 4-5 days.
Anyway, this post is being derailed. So I sent messages to about 6 guys. Also, I got some pictures taken today by a photographer. It's time to update the Match.com profile photos. And I'm excited. And I can't remember my eHarmony password.
So you are getting a quick summary of "The Dating Game". I'm just going to give you a quick description - 1 sentence.
Bachelor #1 - He winked at me a few days ago. Not usually my type but he has alot of pictures of him playing rugby or football. Looks good. He's emailed me today.
I sent a message or wink to all of these guys...
Bachelor #2 - He's an Eagles fan. I know. What am I thinking, but I sent him a cute message anyway. He was the top match per Match.com.
Bachelor #3 - Midwestern guy - lived all over the world. Now is in DC. You know me, I like wholesome.
Bachelor #4 - Scruffy facial hair guy. He's got a cute face. That's all I remember. And he had a funny comment about puncutation.
Bachelor #5 - Volunteer Football coach, good looking Hispanic guy, already rejected me :(
Bachelor #6 - Don't even remember anything about him, now that I see his picture. But he must have had a good profile because I winked at him.
Bachelor #7 - His picture made him look like he worked in a hotel, but he has a kind face.
Bachelor #8 - His first picture looked douchey, but he also had a picture of him at Sonic. And that was enough to get a message from me.
Wow! Eight guys. That's not bad. I must have been inspired by "Most Eligible Dallas" since it was on. I'll just have to keep watching it while internet dating. It makes me very chatty!
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
(Side note: I'm totally regretting using his real name as of this morning. Getting that total walk of shame feeling, especially based on what I am about to write. So I'm going back and changing his name. I think I'll call him...Don Juan. Remember that people!)
There are several reasons why I should not date Don Juan. The biggest and main reason is that we are not at the same stage in our lives. He wants to go out every other night to the clubs and meet as many girls in as many cities as possible. And I do not. He thinks that in a few years when a few years past 30 (the age in which he considers his life to be over and in need of a walker and Depends. I'm serious - he's told me this for years) he'll be ready to settle down with a hot modelesque wife and have a few kids.
If I still haven't convinced you, let me share with you his weekend plans. I feel that they will seal the deal. This weekend, he is going to NYC to meet up with an actress (who he previously met at a club in LA) who does not have any nudity clauses in her film contracts. She has a prolific film career in a certain genre of films where story lines are not very important and aliases are used by most actors and actresses. Do you catch my drift? He's going to accompany her as her assistant to an industry event and party it up. He hopes to be come very acquainted with some of her friends.
And this is prime example of why I say we will not be dating. He's like my little brother and truly I enjoy it that way.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Really, I don't usually blog at work (other than to read and approve comments), but I'm feeling so guilty about the slowness of my posts. I'm finally back from 3 weeks of non-stop travelling and spotty internet coverage, but I'm having the hardest time finding time to put my ideas on paper into ideas on the internet. I guess I was used to being on the road.
I wanted to bring to everyone's attention an awesome class/self-study opportunity that is starting soon. Registration just opened today. As I said in my life list post, I had the good luck of signing up for an all day workshop given by the blogger Karen Walrond (@Chookooloonks) about life transitions (starting one, exercises for thinking about your direction, and documenting it). Karen has turned our one day workshop into a 5 week online/self study course. As someone who has been transitioning in her life and still is, I found the workshop so helpful.
Here is the link:
Chookooloonks Pathfinder Course
If you have any questions, let me know.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
The art of the pick-up line is just that an art. There have been TV shows made, articles written, and many a conversation had about what works and what does not. Well, I have discovered a new pick-up line. A new way to get what you need.
In the evening at the conference, there are parties galore. There are huge public parties that are sponsored by the conference and then there are smaller private parties. I was lucky to get invites to three private parties. I made sure on the first night to make it out the single bloggers party. These were my people; this was my tribe.
The single blogger party was being thrown at the nightclub Float at the Hard Rock Hotel San Diego. I had on a hot new cocktail dress. The party was fun and chic. I talked and drank until the party ended. As I was leaving, I struck up a conversation with a promoter at the front door of the club. Don’t ask me how or why, but I found myself chatting with him. I think it had to do with the swag bag I had in my hand. I was going through the bag telling him about what was in it, and proceeded to pull out the packages of condoms that I had gotten at another party. And you can well imagine (and what I wasn’t grasping at the time) he was thinking I was DTF. That’s a Jersey Short reference if you don’t know what DTF is. Google it. He says, “What’s your number?” I start to give it to him, knowing full well that I am totally giving him a fake number. I’m slightly intoxicated but not drunk. I’m going back to my hotel and going to bed. I’m not hooking up with a club promoter hours from now. So I start to leave when he gets distracted while getting my number, but he calls me back and I finish giving him my fake number. I feel bad for whoever has that number, but a girl’s got to do what a girl has got to do.
While I’m flattered he wanted my number, I think it had more to do with my intoxication and my condoms. So if you are DTF and need a partner, start pulling condoms out in conversations and I’m sure you’ll get what you want.
Yes, I’m still wondering what I was thinking that night.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Monday, July 11, 2011
Thursday, July 7, 2011
So here I sit with nothing in my mind. I tried flipping though Elle and Cosmo but nothing hit the spot. I guess I could talk about my boyfriend here at volunteering. He's awesome. He has 2 daughters my age. I found out today he's just shy of 60. He's a new grandfather. He has invited me to his house once for a BBQ and yard work. And several weeks ago, he invited me to go on vacation to Myrtle Beach with his family. And he hugged me in the parking lot after our first shift (I don't enjoy hugging strangers, especially older men). So awkward....
My boss also volunteers with me from time to time and knows this guy. I told him about it a few weeks ago. He just started laughing. I was like, "Thanks!" He told me, "Nice boyfriend." As a friend tweeted a few days ago, why are the old guys always into me?
So now I dread when I work with him, but so far tonight he's been ok. He's a good volunteer. And as my boss tells people about why I'm volunteering here, it's to meet men!
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Thursday, June 30, 2011
I went to school in Richmond, Virginia - the capital of the Confederacy. Being a small school, we ran amuck in the town. I learned to like grits, glide down "The Gone with the Wind" staircase in a floor-length white gown, and stay home on Sundays (everything was closed even the grocery store). I also learned to stop opening doors for myself - everywhere. I still remember how strange it was. From day one, my fellow 18 year old male classmates would reach around or rush ahead of you to grab the door as you came up on it. It continued all four years. I quickly came to expect it everywhere. I also came to expect to be helped out of cars and off the elevator first. It's not that I turned into a princess or a snob. It's just how it was. Chivalry and proper manners were alive and well. I gave every guy a smile and a thank you every time.
So flash forward to my bald friend from New Jersey. I said yesterday he and his two buddies were sitting on the same bench that I was sitting on. What I failed to mention was that there wasn't enough room for all of them and all of my party to sit on the bench. In fact, when I sat down on the empty part of the bench, Mr. Tall Guy with Glasses said to me, "Someone is sitting here" while he put his hands all over the empty spot between us. I didn't move - the space was big enough for a reasonable sized ass. He looked at me with this funny look like I can't believe you didn't move. (I wanted to stick my tongue out at him - I had maybe drunk a few Coors Lights at this point). My friend Ms. Lynn sat beside me and poor Ms. Amy had to stand. I'm thinking what a elementary school girl move, "Someone is sitting here." I hope that someone is at least a woman. (Even still is the rule is you give up your seat to a woman. And I as an able-bodied woman, give up my seat to the pregnant, infirmed, or elderly) But no, it wasn't. Bald guy came and plopped his butt down in the empty spot. We ladies were appalled...
We totally talked about after we left them. Who taught them manners? Or maybe they forgot? Or maybe it's a New Jersey thing?
I asked J. Ross about this and he told me that some guys just don't know. It's a tricky subject. Some woman want to be independent and seem strong. But he would always give up his seat for a woman (he's also the son of a preacher from Tennessee). And to save a seat for another man is totally weird all in itself. But his rule is if you expect chivalry, then you need to say it. And that seems to be the rule with dating; if you expect something, you need to communicate it.
And in the meantime, I'm totally going to point out bad manners. Yes, I will threaten people with non-invites to the White House. I'm totally turning into my mother!
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
What have I been doing with all my time? Honestly I don't know. I feel alittle like a zombie today. I can tell you it wasn't laundry or cleaning because I did 4 loads of laundry (finally) and scrubbed the 2 most used toilets in my house yesterday. I know gross!
I have been eating alot (right now I'm having afternoon snack). Running some. Cooking and baking (I'm soon going to be the queen of cupcakes - at least 2 kinds). Started spinning (at 6 AM - maybe that's why I feel like a zombie). Forgetting shirts at home (this AM). Sitting in traffic (hate it - but usually singing at the top of my lungs if you see me). Getting speeding tickets. Drinking half a bottle of SkinnyGirl Margarita (that's what I get for drinking with a 24 year old).
Where was I going? So sorry! I know I said I would post every day and now it's trickled down to every 5 days...
But here's a story from today...something short. Tonight, I'm going over "I"'s house (condo) for dinner. He's insistent. So I forgot my shirt this AM and I realized when I was at the gym (3o - 60 min from my house - depending on traffic). Just an early AM oversight...
So screw this...I workout and just go home after the gym to shower and change. I'm not wearing my sweaty workout out shirt to work and then buying something at the mall. Too much pressure.
So go home, shower, change...get back in the car and drive through the rain back to my office. Halfway to the office, a thought passes through my head. I think you wore this shirt to the 2nd date with "I". AHHHHH!!!! That date was a week ago. So many thoughts have passed through my head. I don't remember if I did or didn't wear the shirt. How can I not remember? I used to be so good at this - at cycling date outfits and remembering who saw what. That's when I knew something had changed...because I said to myself, "Who cares? If I already wore it, I'm sure he won't remember (in reality, it would probably be the one thing he remembers)." But as women, we need to give ourselves false hope.
I tweeted about my now comical prospect of repeating date outfits when I get to work. And then 10 minutes later, I remember the outfit I had worn a week ago. I was safe!!! It was a different outfit.
So I guess I'm 1 for 1 today.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
Anyway, as I was swan diving, I suddenly woke up, because I had this flash of reality and dread hit my brain. Earlier in the day, I had committed to doing something that could be very dangerous (according to the reporters of Dateline or 20/20). "I" had asked me to dinner at his condo in the city earlier in the day and I had agreed. And suddenly, it hit me at 2 o'clock in the AM amid a beautiful uplifting dream that I had just done something that could end up very badly. Why would I willingly go to some guy's condo (who I had only met for about 2 hours the day before and whose last name I didn't even know) on a second date? I'm sure nothing would happen but it did suddenly feel very unsafe.
So I lay there for a few minutes and thought about how I would get out of this. I was willing to look like a total nutjob. And then I remembered I'll see my personal trainer in the AM and he'll help me fix it.
So I tell him my issue and he immediately tells me what to text to "I". A late meeting so let's meet in a happening area between his house and my office and offer to pay. I text it around 11 to him...that a late meeting has come up and let's just meet in between. Guess what? It works!! Like a charm! Phew! (This kid is good!)
I don't know why I think it would be unsafe, but just call me extra cautious. It was the one Dateline I caught recently about Match.com violence. I just couldn't take that chance and if something bad happened, live with going against my intuition.
I really use my gut in this whole process; so it was better to look like a crazy person than risk going against it now.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
- Final post on Memorial Day weekend - dating advice to a divorced Dad
- First Date yesterday with I
- Post on my thoughts on personal branding aka Bethenny and Kelly Cutrone
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
Thursday, June 2, 2011
So after many activities and eating and encounters, we headed over at dusk to our favorite bar in town which just happens to be on a dock in the middle of the city - yep out there in the open, no guard rails, nothing - pull right up with your boat. You get used to being around water here - most people can fish someone else out (me included - thanks Mom for making me take those lessons at age 8).
So we're standing around and after Lynn meets a creepy guy and we lose him, we suddenly find ourselves talking to these three guys. They just weasel their way into our little conversation. It was smooth. Props to you frat guys! They are fraternity brothers. One looks very young. One is a lawyer and one is a native son. We are having a nice time talking to these guys. And eventually we get asked our ages. And the three of us just smile. We convince them to tell us their ages first. We've got 23, 24, and 26!! Winner winner chicken dinner! We are cougars! So they guess ours. They had good manners - we got 25, 26, maybe 28?? Yeah, finally Amy said, "Yeah, I'm 32." Our attorney friend (actually they all did) recovered from the shock really well. We laughed at him anyway. They got the picture - we were older, but damn we must have looked good.
Really we probably did because we were relaxed and happy (we weren't dressed to kill and were sweaty).
And we just kept talking. But I had to leave eventually to get home for my race the next day so we said our goodbyes. No numbers given by me - it was the atmosphere of a summer flirtation. Just that giddiness of summer in the air and rum drinks in our hands didn't make me want to be serious for the night.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
And I started thinking about the strange things that have been going on in my life in the last 24 hours. Last night, I watched almost an entire episode of The Bachelorette and emailed my friends about it during and after the show. Today I said "fuck". Those who know me know that's the weirdest thing about me - I don't curse EVER! That I'm ruining my weekend going-out plans in the sailboat capital of the world (or maybe the US) by getting up early (5 or 6 AM) on Memorial Day to run in a 4 mile race near my house. I willingly went to a networking event for the firm I used to work for - the firm that sucked the life out of me for at least 2 years and caused me to gain a million pounds (the firm and my slowing metabolism that I ignored, really).
I think these are just all signs of the Rapture. Or that I need more sleep.
Note: Don't worry the pounds have totally be remedied. I'm back to high school fighting weight...and usually healthier (just not right now).
Monday, May 23, 2011
This weekend was full of social events with friends and resting. My plan had to be to get back on the proverbial "internet dating" horse, but I didn't. Instead, I watched a marriage self-destruct in the movie, "My Blue Valentine" with Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling (of "The Notebook"). If you ever think you want to get married, don't watch this movie. It will make you run - run far away...
So voice be damned, I still made it to Spring Ping and a day/night out at the Wine in the Woods festival and Sugarland concert yesterday.
And let me tell you, in the words of Liz (a girl who went with us), "I felt like Grace Kelly at the concert." There were some really really rough looking women at this concert (and alot of them). There were even some rough looking women at the wine festival. We didn't know where to look next... The poor men of Columbia/Baltimore but then again we didn't really see any cute ones of those either so I guess it works out. It was kind of a downer on my view of the dating scene out there. Hundreds of people and nothing...Probably the after effects of "My Blue Valentine" didn't help - that movie was seriously raw. It also made me wonder what it is like in different cities. What if you lived in a city where the majority of the people were rough...what would you do?
So a networking event tonight and a work dinner tomorrow, that's the problem with summer. You can really fill your schedule with other stuff. But I have to treat this like a job sometimes and force myself to get back up on the horse.
Friday, May 20, 2011
(Don't worry - different topics. So maybe tomorrow's post will be sweet and meandering.)
I've kind of used a rule of thumb based on talking to guys around me, reading articles, and talking to friends that a guy gets a three day grace period to contact you after a date to show interest. It's not a hard and fast rule, but as the days tick by, women do either one of two things. They either make up excuses for why he hasn't called (ie. what you see in romantic comedies - his dog died, he's been away on business, he had emergency surgery, etc. - you get it). Or they just write him off (no drunk dials, no crying fits, maybe a few choice words (usually the more dates there are). I fall into category 2. For whatever reason (you found a new shiny ball, your sense of time is totally whacked, you don't know the rules of the game), I'm OUT or FIRED (depending on what reality show you watch).
Women aren't as insecure anymore as Hollywood portrays them to be. We all read the book, "He's Just Not That Into You" (Caveat: I started to, but never finished. I got it in the first few chapters and then they kept repeating the idea). If you're not paying attention to us, you have got something else on the brain. Ok - we're not that dumb. We know that you aren't going to call us immediately, but by day 3, I should have somehow been repeated in your line of thinking. It seems reasonable that you should at least make contact...or at least that's what we tell ourselves.
So back to reality, H hasn't contacted me since our date. I did text him on day 3 to give him a little nudge. And the conversation fell flat. Like he barely responded. So it's been a week since our date, and I've asked a few guys about this timeline and they all say it's time to raise the white flag and move on. But here's the catch. I talked to my friend a few days ago, who is knows him and she says he's still interested. OK? I recapped everything for her and said well when is he going to ask me out then? But of course, she had no response (I didn't expect her to).
So lessons have been learned...1) if you like a girl, don't wait more than 3 or 4 days to contact her even just to talk to her. And 2) being set-up or asked out by a friend of a friend is not as nerve-wracking as I thought it was going to be. Granted, both times it's happened they barely got of the ground (so maybe I dodged a bullet), but the great friends that I have seem to let the interaction play out on its own and that helps take the pressure off everyone involved.
It's bad enough that I totally put my dating life out there for everyone to read but there is something unnerving about having your friends get feedback from the guys. But the way I look at it, the feedback (good or bad) on me will just get me closer to my goal and better at this crazy thing called dating.