Wednesday, June 22, 2011

And the Oscar for Frigid Ice Queen goes to...

It feels good to be almost caught up with what's been going on. I say almost because every date has the day after and this one is a doozy. But we'll get to that tomorrow...

Now to the main event. My date on Monday night with "I". As some of you knew because you follow me on Twitter (or happened to be emailing me then), I received the address of "I"'s condo and had a little meltdown. I knew it was in a part of the city that was being re-gentrified, but actually, it was in a slightly different area farther from the Metro. In a no-man's land in a even more "up-and-coming" area that I had only driven through once in the last two years. Luckily, thanks to the arrival of the summer solstice, I had alot of daylight/dusk hours the day of our date and didn't really have to run around the neighborhood in the dark. But the fact that the neighborhood had just gotten its first sit-down restaurant didn't endear it to me.

So I find parking near by to his place and I go around to the front of his condo building. He meets me outside. He saw me come around the corner. He leads me back to his place. It's on the ground floor. It looks like a typical bachelor pad. It was just a one bedroom condo, but I do notice when I walk in and go to put my purse down on the couch that there are about 4 huge dust bunnies right in front of my feet. Right in the middle of the floor. Awesome impression! So we do the usual chatting thing, while he opens the wine. I notice that he doesn't take the foil off the wine before he puts the corkscrew in it. I don't say anything but can't help but smile when he struggled to get the cork out because he still has the foil on. Just looking at him I'm thinking I'm over this. I am just struck by my lack of attraction to him. Does that happen to anyone else? I feel like my attraction to a guy can just turn on and off. Maybe I'm weird like that?

Anyway, I'm thinking maybe we can turn it back on, but 2 things already strike me as off. And then I notice that he already has a glass of wine for himself. And it has ice cubes in it!!! Mind you, the wine he served me was cold (and delicious). But I thought that I was suddenly dining with an old Southern biddy. So still chatting while he finishes making dinner. Mind you the TV is on and it's pretty loud. Nothing like trying to talk over Pat Sajak and "The Wheel of Fortune". And then somehow the conversation turns to religion. And we start talking about priests and their issues in the news. And he's asking me if I think guys become priests because they are gay and don't want to come out to their families. And I'm thinking, "I have no idea, but I don't think so. They can just go move to a big city and live as gay men." And he's telling me he thinks I'm wrong. I'm getting annoyed at this point. The conversation isn't very even. He has opinions (which don't agree with mine) and he's not even listening to mine. He's just spouting off about things I think he doesn't really know about and not giving any credence to the fact that mine might hold water and that he's basically telling me my religion is messed up.

So we get off that topic and go to eat dinner. He directs me to the couch and coffee table in front of the still blaring TV. There is a small bistro table in the corner of his kitchen, but evidently we won't be sitting there. No, we eat on the couch, side-by-side in front of a rerun of "Law and Order - SVU". (Oh I almost forgot we go to sit down and he's like I have to go to the bathroom and in his little 1 bedroom, the bathroom is almost in the living room - so I can hear everything and I don't think he washed his hands.) It's also at that point I realize he is wearing old track pants with a button down shirt. I guess a date with me was not special enough to even throw on a pair of jeans. I just wanted to eat and get out of there...but I had only been there about 45 minutes and I felt really bad dining and dashing. So we finish quickly because we can't really talk to each while sitting side-by-side and watching SVU.

So he's says, "Do you want to watch a movie or TV?" I say "TV". I don't want to be stuck there through an entire movie. So he slips off his shoes (still in the old track pants and button down shirt) and proceeds to lay across two-thirds of the couch. I'm now relegated to sitting on the teeny edge of the couch. He caresses my knee and I just jerk it away. I'm the total frigid ice queen. I'm just not having it. He's looking at me with this crazy grin on his face like he's a used car salesman. So now that SVU is over, we end up watch a combination of "The Real Housewives of Orange County" reunion show, "The Real Housewives of New Jersey" (needed to see it anyway) and MSNBC (a channel I never watch - my eyes instantly glaze over). He tells me something about the GOP presidential hopefuls and we end up talking about Mormons. I can tell from the basic questions I'm asking him he knows nothing about the religion. Ugh! One of my biggest pet peeves - don't spout off about something you don't know. Just admit you don't know and ask questions to get information. I recommend he read a book written by Jon Krakauer, a non-Mormon, about Mormonism but he's not even listening. He's just talking about how crazy it is. I'm just trying to figure out if I can leave yet.

So I can see it's getting darker outside. I'm thinking I can use the darkness as an excuse to leave because this is getting crazy. He's laying across the couch like he's a Roman senator. And he keeps scratching his balls or at least touching them. I try not to look...but I don't even know. I'm barely sitting on the couch. I look so uncomfortable. He's totally oblivious.

The Real Housewives is over. I'm like "OK time for me to go." He doesn't put up a fight. He walks me out to my car around the corner. I say "Well here I am. Thanks for dinner." He gives me a hug and feels up my butt. Whatever! I hop in the car and I'm so happy to be off.

It was an Oscar winning performance of the Ice Queen. I wished I had video of the date. I feel like there are details of the date that I've missed. I've given a few details to J. Ross this AM and based on clothing alone, he told me this guy was OUT. And I was so glad we were in agreement.

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