Thursday, May 26, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
And I started thinking about the strange things that have been going on in my life in the last 24 hours. Last night, I watched almost an entire episode of The Bachelorette and emailed my friends about it during and after the show. Today I said "fuck". Those who know me know that's the weirdest thing about me - I don't curse EVER! That I'm ruining my weekend going-out plans in the sailboat capital of the world (or maybe the US) by getting up early (5 or 6 AM) on Memorial Day to run in a 4 mile race near my house. I willingly went to a networking event for the firm I used to work for - the firm that sucked the life out of me for at least 2 years and caused me to gain a million pounds (the firm and my slowing metabolism that I ignored, really).
I think these are just all signs of the Rapture. Or that I need more sleep.
Note: Don't worry the pounds have totally be remedied. I'm back to high school fighting weight...and usually healthier (just not right now).
Monday, May 23, 2011
This weekend was full of social events with friends and resting. My plan had to be to get back on the proverbial "internet dating" horse, but I didn't. Instead, I watched a marriage self-destruct in the movie, "My Blue Valentine" with Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling (of "The Notebook"). If you ever think you want to get married, don't watch this movie. It will make you run - run far away...
So voice be damned, I still made it to Spring Ping and a day/night out at the Wine in the Woods festival and Sugarland concert yesterday.
And let me tell you, in the words of Liz (a girl who went with us), "I felt like Grace Kelly at the concert." There were some really really rough looking women at this concert (and alot of them). There were even some rough looking women at the wine festival. We didn't know where to look next... The poor men of Columbia/Baltimore but then again we didn't really see any cute ones of those either so I guess it works out. It was kind of a downer on my view of the dating scene out there. Hundreds of people and nothing...Probably the after effects of "My Blue Valentine" didn't help - that movie was seriously raw. It also made me wonder what it is like in different cities. What if you lived in a city where the majority of the people were rough...what would you do?
So a networking event tonight and a work dinner tomorrow, that's the problem with summer. You can really fill your schedule with other stuff. But I have to treat this like a job sometimes and force myself to get back up on the horse.
Friday, May 20, 2011
(Don't worry - different topics. So maybe tomorrow's post will be sweet and meandering.)
I've kind of used a rule of thumb based on talking to guys around me, reading articles, and talking to friends that a guy gets a three day grace period to contact you after a date to show interest. It's not a hard and fast rule, but as the days tick by, women do either one of two things. They either make up excuses for why he hasn't called (ie. what you see in romantic comedies - his dog died, he's been away on business, he had emergency surgery, etc. - you get it). Or they just write him off (no drunk dials, no crying fits, maybe a few choice words (usually the more dates there are). I fall into category 2. For whatever reason (you found a new shiny ball, your sense of time is totally whacked, you don't know the rules of the game), I'm OUT or FIRED (depending on what reality show you watch).
Women aren't as insecure anymore as Hollywood portrays them to be. We all read the book, "He's Just Not That Into You" (Caveat: I started to, but never finished. I got it in the first few chapters and then they kept repeating the idea). If you're not paying attention to us, you have got something else on the brain. Ok - we're not that dumb. We know that you aren't going to call us immediately, but by day 3, I should have somehow been repeated in your line of thinking. It seems reasonable that you should at least make contact...or at least that's what we tell ourselves.
So back to reality, H hasn't contacted me since our date. I did text him on day 3 to give him a little nudge. And the conversation fell flat. Like he barely responded. So it's been a week since our date, and I've asked a few guys about this timeline and they all say it's time to raise the white flag and move on. But here's the catch. I talked to my friend a few days ago, who is knows him and she says he's still interested. OK? I recapped everything for her and said well when is he going to ask me out then? But of course, she had no response (I didn't expect her to).
So lessons have been learned...1) if you like a girl, don't wait more than 3 or 4 days to contact her even just to talk to her. And 2) being set-up or asked out by a friend of a friend is not as nerve-wracking as I thought it was going to be. Granted, both times it's happened they barely got of the ground (so maybe I dodged a bullet), but the great friends that I have seem to let the interaction play out on its own and that helps take the pressure off everyone involved.
It's bad enough that I totally put my dating life out there for everyone to read but there is something unnerving about having your friends get feedback from the guys. But the way I look at it, the feedback (good or bad) on me will just get me closer to my goal and better at this crazy thing called dating.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
So I went on a date with H last week after work. It's funny even though he's a friend of a friend and we've been at the same parties/events we don't really know that much about each other. We do talk to each other when we see each other. It's just I realized I really know nothing about him. And I don't have the help of an internet dating profile to tell me about him.
But no matter, we started out by talking about our mutual friends and their upcoming wedding and all the fun activities that are involved with being in a wedding. Luckily, the girls have made quite a bit of progress on that front since our date. We went to a restaurant that was between my office and his house. We had dinner and talked for a few hours. About nothing in particular - just little funny stories about each other. We called it a night around 11 (I think). I was worried that I would be the one who got tired first (I had been up since 5:30 that morning), but he started yawning first and it was idea to call it a night (see I'm not such a boring girl - ok most of the time I'm the first one in bed). He walked me to my parking garage and we said goodbye.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Anyway, you may not always have a bolt when you meet someone, but if they make advances/flirtations towards you and there's no spark there may not ever be. Or you may get it after you get to know them as a person. Really, I think you have to know them on some level to get that spark. I mean, how many Brad Pitts do you know? Exactly.
Friday, May 13, 2011
So no worries for right now!! (I wish I could move over to Word Press but someone has my name) Hopefully the final chapter in F's saga will come back and you can all read it if you haven't.
In the meantime, send me your recipes!!! You have 2 more days!!! Or think positive thoughts that one of mine will win!! You know from the Oprah Show, "The Secret" - that's the secret - the power of positive thinking. I do believe it works.
It's a non-date posting today, but something I have been very curious about. So I really hope that you guys give me feedback on this.
I'm curious about the lightning bolt, or as people often write, "When I saw him/her, I just knew". Love at first sight?? But is it really?
Who out there has experienced it?
Twice I've met guys and on the first touch (just a handshake), it was like a bolt of electricity ran right through my body. I swear I jumped off the ground for a second. It definitely wasn't static electricity. And I definitely was in a state of startle and shock. Was it lust? Was our hormones reacting to each other? Or was it something else?
I ended up not making out with either one of them (it was a room full of people both times) and it fact nothing (other than some very heavy flirting) ever became of them for various reasons. But is this what I should be looking for? Is this my sign? (This post feels like it's taking the turn of a Judy Blume novel.)
Should I have pursued these? Too late now - a long time ago.
Or does your awareness of "the one" grow over time? If so, how much time do you give? I've gotten some advice from people - definitely need some sort of physical relationship with a person to know, but what if you aren't not even sure if you want another date? How many dates should you give a guy before you give up?
These are ideas I struggle with. I wonder if I give up so easily on a guy because it is so easy to just say "Next". My star sign says that Libras are escapists and indecisive (great!! good girlfriend material). But at the same time, you can't just stay with a guy because it's easy and convenient.
So those of you out there with "the one", how did it work for you? Give this girl some ideas on how you know!!!
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Those are my rules...to this contest.
If you send me a recipe, I'll enter you in the contest...(don't worry I'm going to enter myself, but I'm going to get my people in on it too).
Here is a link to the details...
Grilling Recipe Contest
Now, email...(or post to her website. Whatevs).
Ok - another post later. I wanted to post last night but I got side tracked with a birthday celebration. So you get a 2-fer today.
Friday, May 6, 2011
You know us women...we get sad for reasons even we don't understand. But the floodgates of tears are on the verge of bursting and here's what caused a few tears at lunch time today...
I was reading The Washington Post and they have a feature in their Sunday magazine called "Date Lab". They match up two applicants and send them on a date. Obviously then, the date needs to be reported back on by the two people. Usually it doesn't work out for various reasons but it's interesting to read.
This week's is a man and a woman; they are both over the age of 50 and both have never been married. Neither of them seemed abnormal except for the fact that they had never been married. And I was suddenly so sad. What if that's me in 20ish years from now? Just never met the right guy...? It didn't sound like for them it was a no-go for a lack of trying. Obviously, you don't get the full picture/background on a one page article. But it caused my heart to sink...
Ugh! Are you utterly depressed yet? Maybe not. Maybe I'm just tired. At least it's Friday but I have a 2nd date with F on Saturday night. So I better pull it together before then.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
But thanks to some incidents in prior years, I will also be watching how much I drink (Mr. Tequila and I are still friends but I don't need to be puking in the basement bathroom of our annual Mexican spot in DC anymore). But that doesn't mean that I won't help Amy steal a life-sized cardboard cutout of "The Most Interesting Man in the World" (Dos Equis) from our bar of choice.
Anyway, quick news on the guy front. F and I seem to be having communication issues. Evidently, yesterday afternoon's text that said, "OK ill can I call u tonight" was a question. I thought it was a statement. So he didn't call because I didn't respond.
I texted him today to say are you ok? Didn't hear from you. And of course now I can't talk to him because I'm going out tonight for Lynn's birthday and tomorrow night I have my volunteer gig. So we'll just have to talk on Saturday on our date.
Is this a sign of communication issues to come? Thank goodness my mother insisted on good grammar. At least it's clear when I text whether it is a question or a statement.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Anyway, so I just played it with F that we would talk on Friday or Saturday and figure out the plan for our lunch or coffee date on Saturday. So at the hair salon at 9, I texted him to see if he was still up for it. Two hours later (I know not everyone gets up as early as I do - and that was sleeping in for me), he texts me. He just got up but strangely is ready to go...
I'm like hold on - you live what I would think would be 45 minutes away from me and you just got up and you want to meet in like a half hour?? So we compromised and decided to meet at The Cheesecake Factory in a mall in between our houses.
Monday, May 2, 2011
The title makes it sound worse than it really was. But this one was for the pages of this blog. I can’t make this stuff up. So I’m up to letter E. Friday night was beer at a brew pub in my former town of residence with E.
He was running late and I wasn’t feeling like sitting at the bar alone so I popped into Starbucks for a green tea. Then of course, he wasn’t really late and I had a half-drunken tea. The strange thing is I can’t find him in the bar when I get there. I do a lap around the bar. There are some cute guys there in the late happy hour crowd – I wish I had come directly to the bar. I can’t find him anywhere. I text him. He finally gets back to me and says he’s here. I’m like where? No response back to my “Where?” for like 5 minutes. I text him that I’m in front of the hostess stand. Things are getting strange. And then all the sudden he pops up in front of me with a grin on his face from the restaurant side of the building. I’m like oh hi! I’m taken aback because in his pictures he had hair and was thinner. And now he’s Mr. Clean bald and definitely a several pounds heavier. He tells me he was washing his hands…I never knew it could take that long.
The bar is crowded so we head to the back corner were there seems to be a spot. We each order a beer. And so the conversing starts. And it was all over the place and not in a good way. In a weird way.
Here are some examples of the weird things he said to me:
He kept calling my high school – QC. Its nickname is QO for Quince Orchard. (Supposedly he goes there to throw the football around with a friend and run 2.25 miles at full sprint – every once in a while). I suggested maybe he try intervals – put some rest in recovery in between the sprint laps but he just grinned and said “No he just likes to see how much he can sprint”. Ok?
He was the quarterback of his high school football team. He was maybe 5’7” or 5’8”. A few hours later it was only sophomore year. He seems to still be reliving that season of glory.
People in Wyoming go to Seattle to party – at least that’s what someone had told him. I’m like “No they don’t – they aren’t really near each other. And Wyoming is full of cowboys, hunters, fisherman, and outdoorsy people”. He then tried to tell me that Washington state and Wyoming border each other – I’m like again, they don’t border each other. I've driven all over Wyoming.
There were more. He kept saying all these silly and strange things and when I would ask questions to try and make sense and he couldn't answer the questions or they wouldn't make sense. I would just end up smiling and nodding and so would he.
At one point, he was finishing his 2nd beer so I ran to the bathroom because I knew I wouldn't make it home. I thought I would make it back to the bar before he finished. But no!!!! He had a brand new beer when I got back.
I made it almost all the way through the next beer before I was finally like I'm tired and I need to go. It was really loud in the bar. I didn't know what to say anymore or what was going to come out of his mouth.
I did seriously think about just pulling a Houdini and saying I was going to go to the bathroom and walk out - but I didn't.
I excused myself in a nice way and gave him a hug and walked back to the car.
Poor E...I just don't know what to say. I just really don't.