My First Booty Text

I've been talking, thinking, running and cupcake baking. And again not blogging. And I've left you hanging from the craziest date to date.

I thought that the date last Monday ended pretty clearly for both of us. I understood what he ("I") wanted and I made it pretty clear that I wasn't going to give it to him. Or so I thought????

After wooing me with his old track pants and button down shirt while reclining across his couch while watching episodes of the Real Housewives, I thought I would never hear from him after my shooting him down at every turn. But the night after the date, I was sent a text at 10:45 PM. I didn't get this text until the next morning because I was already asleep. But do you know what it said? "Wanna come and cuddle?"....

Seriously??? Seriously??? When I read this, I just started laughing out loud. The last booty call I had received was in college. And that was before texting existed. So technically this was my first booty text. And it was evidently written by a 12 year old boy. Do I want to come over and cuddle? I understand what you are asking, but you think you could ask it in a more suave and adult way so that you sound like a man in your mid-30's. You didn't even use proper grammar. And you're such an idiot; if I wouldn't do it at your condo the night before, what makes you think I'm going to drive the 45 minutes to your house late at night to sprawl out on your green couch in track pants?

That was just the icing on the cake. My response was, "Huh? No, I'm good."

And that was the end of "I". Back into the dating pool now.

When to raise the white flag

The cold that was getting better yesterday has now gotten worse...so what was going to be a nice and sweet meandering post yesterday has turned into a blunt tell-it-like it is post today.
(Don't worry - different topics. So maybe tomorrow's post will be sweet and meandering.)

I've kind of used a rule of thumb based on talking to guys around me, reading articles, and talking to friends that a guy gets a three day grace period to contact you after a date to show interest. It's not a hard and fast rule, but as the days tick by, women do either one of two things. They either make up excuses for why he hasn't called (ie. what you see in romantic comedies - his dog died, he's been away on business, he had emergency surgery, etc. - you get it). Or they just write him off (no drunk dials, no crying fits, maybe a few choice words (usually the more dates there are). I fall into category 2. For whatever reason (you found a new shiny ball, your sense of time is totally whacked, you don't know the rules of the game), I'm OUT or FIRED (depending on what reality show you watch).

Women aren't as insecure anymore as Hollywood portrays them to be. We all read the book, "He's Just Not That Into You" (Caveat: I started to, but never finished. I got it in the first few chapters and then they kept repeating the idea). If you're not paying attention to us, you have got something else on the brain. Ok - we're not that dumb. We know that you aren't going to call us immediately, but by day 3, I should have somehow been repeated in your line of thinking. It seems reasonable that you should at least make contact...or at least that's what we tell ourselves.

So back to reality, H hasn't contacted me since our date. I did text him on day 3 to give him a little nudge. And the conversation fell flat. Like he barely responded. So it's been a week since our date, and I've asked a few guys about this timeline and they all say it's time to raise the white flag and move on. But here's the catch. I talked to my friend a few days ago, who is knows him and she says he's still interested. OK? I recapped everything for her and said well when is he going to ask me out then? But of course, she had no response (I didn't expect her to).

So lessons have been learned...1) if you like a girl, don't wait more than 3 or 4 days to contact her even just to talk to her. And 2) being set-up or asked out by a friend of a friend is not as nerve-wracking as I thought it was going to be. Granted, both times it's happened they barely got of the ground (so maybe I dodged a bullet), but the great friends that I have seem to let the interaction play out on its own and that helps take the pressure off everyone involved.

It's bad enough that I totally put my dating life out there for everyone to read but there is something unnerving about having your friends get feedback from the guys. But the way I look at it, the feedback (good or bad) on me will just get me closer to my goal and better at this crazy thing called dating.

The best intentions

I had every intent of posting last night, but I had nothing written and when I finally got home, it was time to go to bed. (Sometimes more important things come up like tasting red velvet cupcake samples for Jenn's bridal shower.)

But I wanted to let you know that A is out. I last talked to him via text last Tuesday. He was in class all night so I told him to call me when he had a chance. No phone call has materialized in over a week. So his phone number is being deleted (just watch he'll call me - he did it 2 weeks ago.)

And I guess I'm off the hook for properly breaking it off. He went the route of no communication - that's cool. But I don't need to rehash now.

Onward and upward!

Opps....I never said I was perfect

Just checked my phone and I got a text message from B.

It says "Thanks for responding. You are very rude".

It kind of makes me laugh (ok - in an embarrassed way).

Let me back up for a second. He emailed me over the weekend about going out on Monday. I emailed him back and then didn't hear from him for days. Finally I get a text saying "Sorry. You're email got stuck in my spam". Then at some point, I got a phone call from him but I can't remember if there was a voicemail. I didn't return it, but that was only Tuesday or Wednesday.

And now this. Oh well. I never said I was perfect?

Time for Friday at the mall with margaritas, shopping, and work horror stories with Amy.

Kiss Off

So I did it. I started to chicken out yesterday. I thought well I really haven't talked to them in awhile so I don't really need to email C & D to tell them that I don't want to go on another date.

But I made a promise to myself that I wasn't going to do it. So thanks to alittle courage from Miranda Lambert (love that girl! - much better than skinny Barbie, Carrie Underwood.)

Anywho, I sent two quick emails based on advice from Jonathan...Here's what I wrote to D.

----- (D's real name),

Thank you so much for the night out last week. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you. It ended up being a busy week.

I had a really nice time last Wednesday. I've decided to see someone more seriously so I don't think I'd be up for another date.

You should definitely try one of the group runs that the MCRRC has. Perhaps we'll see each other there.

Good luck and thanks,

------ (Miss Scarlett's real name)

So maybe it was only a half truth/half lie. I basically sent the same thing to C - but nothing about the MCRRC (a running club) and I was more forceful on we won't be having another date.

I'm wavering on B right now. I kind of just want another date to have another date. It doesn't necessarily have to be with B (women - such shallow and evil creatures). Do I wait it out for next week with someone new or just plan something else with him??? Miranda want do you think? (She's singing about getting out of town away from a man).

Great!

Thinning the Herd...is there a better way to say "It's not you, it's me?"

Credit: Apple

As I've stated in other posts, it's getting time to thin the herd. Or really the time is upon us. (I've gotten another text from C today - this after I didn't answer the 3rd one he sent yesterday.) This heifer is not liking some of the steers around her and is already looking to other pastures. Some of them can stay for now.

So in my past relationships (I'll admit, it's not a huge history to pull from), I was the breaker- upper. I grew bored or scared. Sometimes I used them (to not have to look for a date for the junior/senior prom 1 month before) and they eventually caught on. But I have to admit in the past I've used the actions technique of suddenly not answering phone calls/making plans/etc. and then a subsequent phone call initiated by them happens where I (after some hemming and hawing and nail biting) admit my true desires to not continue on in the relationship. Not exactly the most mature way of dealing with the situation.

So I want to wear my big girl panties this time and actually attempt to gracefully extricate myself from some of these encounters. But what is the best way to do it? Do you call? Is email ok? Do you have to do it in person? Are there different rules for how many dates you have had? (A few things to note about me - I am a peacemaker (thanks to being an oldest child and Libra - not good for face to face disappointment) and my mother made sure we had manners (we were constantly threatened with a non-invite to the White House growing up if we had bad manners - we eventually wised up and told my Mom the invite was never going to happen for other reasons.)

So I've been thinking about what to do - some basic rules:

1. I'm never going to use the phrase, "It's not you, it's me." - Everyone knows what that means. The kiss of death. It is you. There is some unattractive about the person being told this. It's too well-known and now cruel to say (see above about manners). So basically I'm going to have to say something similar in a different way.

2. If you don't have his phone number, it's ok to email him saying that you just want to be friendly (really I don't need to be friends with you - I have enough friends and we don't have enough in common - but we could if you need to be - maybe?). But really it's only ok to email him if you've only had one or no dates. I think I'm too old now to not have to face the firing squad.

3. I will not just stop talking to a guy if we just don't hit it off on email. I will at least send you a message saying that I don't think this is ever going to result in a date. I used to get upset when they just stopped talking to you and then I got used to it and started doing it myself when I didn't feel like moving forward. But I have one guy who keeps emailing me and I email back but there is nothing but crickets and it seems wrong to just drop off the face of the earth on him.

4. If I deliver the message in person, I will do it in a public place. Like Starbucks... For safety reasons. I'm a girl. I'd rather be yelled at in public than physically threatened somewhere private. I can avoid certain places for the rest of my life if need be.

Did I miss anything? Is anything way off base? Please let me know ASAP. My readers - I beg of you!!! The executions will be commencing shortly while I'm still feeling brave.

I will not be going hungry

So in the last 2 days I've acquired enough leftovers that I will not be going hungry anytime soon (I promised that I tried to not take them, but they insisted - they are all Italian. The pasta in the bowl I made a few days ago.)

Day 3 of the date bonanza is over and it was a good one. Lots of material for a post. Tomorrow is a day off from dates so expect a recap of the first date with B.

This is how classy of a girl I am - my date tonight goes to the bathroom and I'm texting B to confirm a time for our date on Thursday. He comes back and is like who are you texting. Me, "A friend. She had a terrible day at work today and I just wanted to make sure she's ok". So classy - text another guy while on a date. (At least I know what time my date is on Thursday?)