Monday, May 2, 2011

And I almost walked out…

The title makes it sound worse than it really was. But this one was for the pages of this blog. I can’t make this stuff up. So I’m up to letter E. Friday night was beer at a brew pub in my former town of residence with E.

He was running late and I wasn’t feeling like sitting at the bar alone so I popped into Starbucks for a green tea. Then of course, he wasn’t really late and I had a half-drunken tea. The strange thing is I can’t find him in the bar when I get there. I do a lap around the bar. There are some cute guys there in the late happy hour crowd – I wish I had come directly to the bar. I can’t find him anywhere. I text him. He finally gets back to me and says he’s here. I’m like where? No response back to my “Where?” for like 5 minutes. I text him that I’m in front of the hostess stand. Things are getting strange. And then all the sudden he pops up in front of me with a grin on his face from the restaurant side of the building. I’m like oh hi! I’m taken aback because in his pictures he had hair and was thinner. And now he’s Mr. Clean bald and definitely a several pounds heavier. He tells me he was washing his hands…I never knew it could take that long.

The bar is crowded so we head to the back corner were there seems to be a spot. We each order a beer. And so the conversing starts. And it was all over the place and not in a good way. In a weird way.

Here are some examples of the weird things he said to me:

He kept calling my high school – QC. Its nickname is QO for Quince Orchard. (Supposedly he goes there to throw the football around with a friend and run 2.25 miles at full sprint – every once in a while). I suggested maybe he try intervals – put some rest in recovery in between the sprint laps but he just grinned and said “No he just likes to see how much he can sprint”. Ok?

He was the quarterback of his high school football team. He was maybe 5’7” or 5’8”. A few hours later it was only sophomore year. He seems to still be reliving that season of glory.

People in Wyoming go to Seattle to party – at least that’s what someone had told him. I’m like “No they don’t – they aren’t really near each other. And Wyoming is full of cowboys, hunters, fisherman, and outdoorsy people”. He then tried to tell me that Washington state and Wyoming border each other – I’m like again, they don’t border each other. I've driven all over Wyoming.

There were more. He kept saying all these silly and strange things and when I would ask questions to try and make sense and he couldn't answer the questions or they wouldn't make sense. I would just end up smiling and nodding and so would he.

At one point, he was finishing his 2nd beer so I ran to the bathroom because I knew I wouldn't make it home. I thought I would make it back to the bar before he finished. But no!!!! He had a brand new beer when I got back.

I made it almost all the way through the next beer before I was finally like I'm tired and I need to go. It was really loud in the bar. I didn't know what to say anymore or what was going to come out of his mouth.

I did seriously think about just pulling a Houdini and saying I was going to go to the bathroom and walk out - but I didn't.

I excused myself in a nice way and gave him a hug and walked back to the car.

Poor E...I just don't know what to say. I just really don't.


Anonymous said...

"How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains?"

He could have said that.


Miss Scarlett said...

I wish he couldn't have gotten any more ridiculous.

I was so on my best behavior. Thank goodness I've had ettiquette classes so I knew just to smile and nod.