Sunday, July 24, 2011

Marriage Question...When to say yes? When to quit?

I have been in a few weddings. In fact before I wrote this post, I was taking pictures of the gold shoes that I'm going to wear in Greg and Jenn's wedding in 60 days as a bridesmaid. I actually had to buy them for another wedding that I was a bridesmaid in a few years ago. I'm gearing up for several weekends in August of bachelorette parties. So excited!

But that's not what I wanted to write about. Well sort of. In the last two weeks, I've had two conversations about divorces or separations. Luckily, none of the weddings that I have been in have been in that category. Last night, a friend told me that some mutual acquaintances of ours (old work colleagues) who had married each other were now separated after three years of marriage. This is not the first time this has happened. Two other couples I am acquainted with also got divorced after 2 or 3 years of marriage. All of these people were married and divorced before 35 - some before 30. The wife told my friend that she and her husband are just better as friends than as a married couple. And I started thinking...what does that mean?

Having never been married, I don't know all that it takes to be married or stayed married. But how do you know that it's right to jump into a marriage? And how do you know to when to call it quits? Do you just get caught up in the excitement of love and a wedding? Will I make the right decision when that moment comes knocking on my door?

I'm not the only one who has seen these situations. My sister was in a wedding that is now a divorced couple. Even my cousin who is only 26 has friends who are married for about a year and now divorced.

I'm sure none of these people went into this thinking they were going to get a divorce. I'm sure tears were shed and words said in anger. So what happened? I know I'll never know the answer. Each situation is different. But as a single person looking for love, it scares me all the same. I don't want to be in that boat. And I know they don't want to be either...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I know it seems scary, but don't get freaked out about a relationship potentially failing. Even failed relationships enrich your life - they teach you more about who you are and what you want in life. When they hurt, it sucks. But it's worth it in the end, when you finally find something that does work. Marriage is an individual choice, but you're old enough, experienced enough and smart enough to know when and if it's right for you. But you won't know until you're in the situation yourself - there's no way to predict what it will feel like. If you trust your instincts and follow your heart, you'll always be okay.

- Katie