Back in the Saddle Again...J

Yes kids, I went on a date. Somebody had to break the dry spell. And the first guy that asked me to coffee got to be Mr. J.

Mr. J. What do I say? He was nice. He was polite. He was foreign - a former Communist. And that's about it. There were no sparks. No flirting. No fun conversation. It wasn't bad conversation. There was just none of that special something that made me excited for more.

I wore a cute but casual date outfit to coffee. We spent just over an hour together and then I had to go but I think he was ready to go too. Like end this on a good note.

Will there be a second date? Probably not. I just don't have the time. There are other letters to add to my list.

Oh one thing I have to note: As we were talking he often crossed his arms over his chest, which was fine because I could tell that he was satisfied and fine, but I think any body language expert would say it's definitely a closed-off body expression. It's just a weird thing you notice as you are pretending to listen ( I swear I listen - I can just multi-task).

News flash

Today I was reading The Washington Post online (as usual) and an article popped up. Well, not exactly this article, but this one links to the article that I read.

It's an article reporting on a new study about online dating and the success of it. Here's the link. Basically, it says what anyone who has online dated knows. It's a total crapshoot. It's all luck.

So look at it what it is just another way for people to meet each other. Be open to everyone. Well, not everyone, but it makes me wonder if you don't have to have everything in common then am I missing out on the guys I should be dating?

I planned on writing about something else, but I just had to share this article and I got distracted reading Match.com profiles. Wish me luck. No takers yet.

Mixing it up...

So I just cancelled my eHarmony subscription. Woo Hoo! Last minute game change.

Of course, it doesn't turn off right away. I still have a month. So I sent out a bunch of smiles (whatever that is...)

I just waste so much money with it. Instead of using the same old same old profile, I'm cancelling and starting over. New year, new profile. Right?

I promise it's not the tequila I'm drinking. It's not that strong...I swear! I think it's the haircut. I don't get it cut very often.

I've held it in too long

I've held in my feelings for a long time about this, but something just put me over the edge today.

Can we talk about the eHarmony commercials? The happy couples who are laughing and hugging about how easy it was that they met each other on eHarmony. Well now it's morphed into a single guy who only just got on eHarmony and he's only had one date. This is the line that kills me, "By the time this airs, I'll probably have met someone special."

Seriously! Seriously! Every time I see these commercials I want to throw up. It's false advertising. Their system is no better at matching you than any of the other sites out there. I don't know anyone who has used internet dating sites who met their boyfriend/girlfriend in 2 dates.

Yes, these people probably met each other on the website. But do you really think you are reaching single people with these commercials? No. I'm telling you eHarmony. You aren't.

And then when you send me my matches, I've noticed that it's pretty much all in the same category: single dads age 40 and above. That's at least 7 years older than I am. Is there no guy out there closer to my age that would be a match? This seems very suspicious. I'll play your little game and talk to a few of them.

So you know what eHarmony...you are on probation. I'm watching you. You better shape up or I'm shipping out.

Awkward Coincidence

I had to share this funny story told to me by a new contributor (hopefully), Miss Indy. She has some equally fun adventures in dating.

Recently, she went out with a guy she met on an internet dating website. He had a very upbeat, smiling, happy profile on the site. So they talked and decided to go out.

When she meets him, he looks very down. Where was this happy guy? She was confused, but he didn't say anything so the date went on. Dinner was eaten and a movie was the activity post-dinner. She said she suggested the movie "Moneyball", but I guess he wasn't feeling it. So she said that she heard the movie "50/50" was funny. He decided on "50/50" and off they went.

So they talk a few days later/go out and he's back to his happy self. They start to talk about the last date and he says to her, "I'm sorry if I was not myself. My best friend just died from cancer. In fact, he died the day before we went out. I didn't realize how serious it was and I was upset that I didn't do more for my friend while he was sick".

What do you say to that? You went on a date with the guy who just lost a friend to a cancer to a buddy movie about cancer. Not that it was her fault, but the coincidence is laughable and awkward. Poor Miss Indy. And these are the crazy trials of dating.

Isn't Ironic? According to Alanis, it is.

Just like song, it's not really ironic. More of a coincidence.

Last night I checked on my Match.com accounts. Of course only one had emailed me back. Awesome! But you have to start somewhere. (Match.com tip from their social media guy: The more active you are on the site, the more you come up in different guys' searches. I knew it!)

Anyway, I just brushed it off and looked at my new matches. Some were nice and I sent them witty a couple liners to check me out. Some looked too pretty. I got scared and marked them as maybes.

And then I came to my Super Duper Match (really called the Singled Out Match of the Day), guess who it was. Yes, it was someone I had already dated. It was G, who I went on one date with back in May. A date I almost left because it became so ridiculous. Poor G. He's still out there looking for the one. And he still has hair in his profile picture and none in real life.

I did reject G this time. I knew it was going nowhere so why start up that conversation again.

Still haven't figured out my eHarmony password, but I'm trying to work speed dating into the schedule. Give it a whirl, tell you how it goes.

The Dating Game - Summary Version

I was going to do another installment of "The Dating Game" as I actually got on Match.com today and sent out a bunch of winks and messages (and all that other stuff). The prospects were good. Maybe babies are back from the summer finally. Maybe now that I've been in touch with the social media guy at Match.com he's throwing some good ones my way.

So you say...what happened? Why no descriptions of these hotty fatotties? Well my friends, my water heater decided to drain itself slowly at some point over the long weekend - all over the closet and the hallway. Yeah! And I discovered it this morning after I did my work on Match.com but before I could write a post. Has this ever happened to you? Non? Count yourself lucky. The carpet is so moist (sopping) and now has weird stains on it. And now I don't have hot water for 4-5 days.

Anyway, this post is being derailed. So I sent messages to about 6 guys. Also, I got some pictures taken today by a photographer. It's time to update the Match.com profile photos. And I'm excited. And I can't remember my eHarmony password.

So you are getting a quick summary of "The Dating Game". I'm just going to give you a quick description - 1 sentence.

Bachelor #1 - He winked at me a few days ago. Not usually my type but he has alot of pictures of him playing rugby or football. Looks good. He's emailed me today.

I sent a message or wink to all of these guys...

Bachelor #2 - He's an Eagles fan. I know. What am I thinking, but I sent him a cute message anyway. He was the top match per Match.com.

Bachelor #3 - Midwestern guy - lived all over the world. Now is in DC. You know me, I like wholesome.

Bachelor #4 - Scruffy facial hair guy. He's got a cute face. That's all I remember. And he had a funny comment about puncutation.

Bachelor #5 - Volunteer Football coach, good looking Hispanic guy, already rejected me :(

Bachelor #6 - Don't even remember anything about him, now that I see his picture. But he must have had a good profile because I winked at him.

Bachelor #7 - His picture made him look like he worked in a hotel, but he has a kind face.

Bachelor #8 - His first picture looked douchey, but he also had a picture of him at Sonic. And that was enough to get a message from me.

Wow! Eight guys. That's not bad. I must have been inspired by "Most Eligible Dallas" since it was on. I'll just have to keep watching it while internet dating. It makes me very chatty!

Don't bother getting up...

I swear I can't make this stuff up. This is a true tale of internet dating. My theory was correct (as soon as you send out a few feelers, guys start contacting you). I had a few new winks and emails on Match tonight when I logged in.

I rejected both of the winks. One lives in Delaware - too far from my home. The other looks just like a guy I fired about 4 years ago. It's not him, but I can't bear to date a guy that looks like him. It would be just too weird.

Now to the emails, there were 2 of those as well. The one guy was a guy I had emailed after our little game last week. And then there was a new guy and this is the message from him:

Hi there! My name is S******. I am from India working in DC area. I am too lazy to explain about me now. If I am the luckiest person, feel free to ask me anything about me.

You are too lazy to explain about yourself?? Really?? Well then, I'm sold. I want to go out with a really lazy guy who can't really be bothered to put in writing a sentence or two something about himself.

And there you go folks, I can't make this stuff up!

Let's Play a Game

I took the weekend off from dating. I had a million projects on my plate - some of which got finished. And I dread this part. You see I wasn't just talking to "I". I was sending out feelers and receiving them and I left a bunch of them hanging. So I feel guilty. And I also feel dread - dread of what's out there in the pool.

But I tried the sit at home and wait for him to knock on my door (figuratively that is), but that hasn't work so far...for the most part.

So I took a quick look at work yesterday at my Match account. And I was right to be alittle fearful....so I thought I'd play a game.

When I was a kid, there was a show called, "The Dating Game". It was the 70's/80's version of "The Bachelor"/"The Bachelorette". (I take that back - it was on from 1965 to 1996 - Wow!). Anyway, one bachelor or bachelorette got to ask questions to 3 contestants behind a screen and based on the answers, they picked one to go on a date with. Less involved than "The Bachelor".

So Match.com gives you 5 or 6 (still haven't figured all the categories of guys they sent you) guys a day to review, so I'm going to describe each one and my feelings about contacting them. Feel free to comment.

Bachelor #1 - Clean cut All-American looking preppy guy. Grew up in the suburbs, likes working out, plays in kickball/softball leagues, likes the beach (Dewey/Outer Banks) - I think I'll contact him. Guys tend not to like you if you message them, but you get more traffic if you are active (my unscientific Match.com theory).

Bachelor #2 - Middle-Eastern/white guy, Dark Hair, lives in the big city, Prefers girly girls who take care of themselves. I'm going to say no, because I hate my profile picture and he sounds alittle douche-y. You have to take care of yourself...why don't you say you only date models? I've heard that before but at least it was from a 26 year old.

Bachelor #3 - Alabama bred, Auburn educated, blue eyed cutie. Athletic, Looking to expand social circle, talks about having good manners and accent. He's my number 1 pick out of the three. He seems like he might actually respond back to me. But who knows what lies beneath? He doesn't give me a ton of details about himself, but that's not always a bad thing.

So Bachelor #3 wins, but I'm hedging my bets. So Bachelor #1 gets a shout out as well.

What do you think? Want to play again?

I was a Hot Mess...

Time for a recap for date number 1 with "I". He gets quotes because I don't know want to confuse him with myself.

It happened last Saturday afternoon. Saturday ended up being a totally crazy day. Friday night, I went out to a show at the main rock club in the city. It's in an area that's being re-gentrified. It's been so long that I forgot how late the shows go...we didn't get home until 1:30 AM. Which would have been fine, except I had to be up at 6:00 AM to run 10 miles.

So after 4 hours of sleep, I somehow rally to the run and make it through in the heat. My body is not loving it but I make it. So back home, shower and get ready because I have an hour drive to the coffee shop I am meeting "I" at. We are meeting in an area of the city I've only been in a few times. It's also being re-gentrified I discover. A fancy furniture store and chocolate shop are on the same block as an AIDS clinic and soup kitchen. (Oh and last weekend was the gay pride festival and the neighborhood we are in is the center of gay culture in the city. Kind of surreal atmosphere to have a first date.)

So no time for a nap, I throw on clothes and head out. We're meeting at noon. I'm running late - traffic on a Saturday is moving but it takes longer than I think. He's at a bar next to the coffee shop. At this point, a beer sounds good.

I order a beer and we start talking. Things are going well. I met him through eHarmony but we didn't really do any of the questions or all that. So I really didn't know that much about him. I finish my beer and so does he and we order another. At this point, I'm feeling it. I really haven't eaten anything all day and I've probably sweated out my body mass at least once. I feel like a hot mess. Also, I only had enough change for the meter for an hour so I have to excuse myself and walk up the street for about 4 blocks to feed the meter. As I drunkenly walk down the street, I quickly pull myself together in the heat and think that he probably thinks I'm totally dashing...hilarious. It would be so easy for me to just leave. I must seem like such a nut job.

But I didn't want to end the date so I feed the meter. I hobble back to the bar (my legs are killing me from the run). He definitely called me out that he thought when I didn't come back quickly that he thought I had dashed...but I must just walk slower than he thought. So we start drinking the next beer. All these people around us are eating. I wanted to cry. I was getting hungrier and hungrier and there is all this food around me. And then halfway through my beer, my stomach started to hurt. And not from hunger. So now in my mind I'm starting to think how to I end this date so I can run home. My stomach is hurting worse and worse...I'm totally have an internal conversation with myself. I don't know how I kept up an actual conversation. He must have been doing most of the talking. Luckily I have to pee so I run to the restroom. When I come out, he's finished his beer and is like time to go? I say a silent "Thank you baby Jesus".

Bossy and then gone..

I planned on posting everyday this month since June is National Blog Posting Month. But that hasn't happened. I don't feel busier than prior months but somehow I can't find time to get it all done. It probably didn't help that from Saturday night to Sunday night I slept a total of 12.5 hours (Could I be having another growth spurt - totally slept every free moment when I had a growth spurt in high school).

Anyway, I just finished answering questions, sending emails, and winks (and all that other crap) that involves with convincing a guy to talk to me. I sent out a few rejects as well - sorry...

So I remembered that I had never told you about the first guy who ever asked me out. We'll call him Mr. DC Council. Within a few hours of setting up my profile on eHarmony, I had an email from this guy. He bypassed all the questions and other eHarmony stuff. He sent me an email with the most intense three or four sentences about himself. He loved running and yoga. He had run unsucessfully for the DC city council. He loved living in the city - a few blocks from the law firm and from yoga. And he ended it with "Let's go out sometime".

I emailed back slightly scared - ok mostly scared. Had he even read my profile? Sure - I'll go out with you. Why not get on the horse?

A few hours, I get an email back from him. This guy is fast. He has in the email instructions for me to meet him at a certain restaurant on a certain day at a certain time. My first thought - WOW! How presumptuous?? You just assume that I am available on this day at that time. And I like the type of food at that restaurant. It happened to be Chinese food. Why if I didn't like Chinese food? It was just so odd.

I took my time responding because I was sick. But I got back to him with at least 24 hours before the date. I asked to postpone. I just didn't feel up to it. I didn't want to be snotting all over him. I even gave an alternate day.

But that was the last that I heard from him. I assume he met some other yoga loving chick who had aspirations of being a politician's wife (I don't). And I haven't been asked out on a date like that since then.

A Facebook Quandry

The long weekend was very eventful and I have a few stories to tell, but I'm going to jump ahead to something that happened on Tuesday. I know you hate when I do this (and I've already been a very bad blogger), but I'm going to do it anyway. Because I'm in charge of this blog and if you don't like it, then say something about!

Even though, I've been on the crazy busy side of things getting ready for my month of showers. My sink is full of dirty dishes; my dirty laundry is piled up outside the washing machine. I know it's not good. I'm trying!! But I have been communicating...

I got a direct email from Mr. Nags Head (no date yet so he doesn't get a letter yet) via eHarmony. It's happened once before - I have yet to tell you that story. So Mr. Nags Head says that he wants to start talking, but he's about to lose his subscription so I need to send him my email address. Whatever...

So emails me. And I don't get back him for a few days. I know. Bad. But I do get back to him. on Monday. And we have exchanged a few emails since then.

But then I notice yesterday something else. Something on my Facebook. A friend invite...from him??? Really... I have to admit. I don't google my dates before I meet up with them. I just don't have time or the patience. But the first thing that popped into my mind about this is what if I'm a psycho. That's being very adventurous of him but what if I was one of those stalker girls that if it didn't work out I went crazy on him??? That's a big risk for a guy from what I hear. Lucky for him, I'm not.

So what do I do? Do I make him my friend? Or not?

Usually, I would just ignore the request (which I did for a few days.) But I decided to try something different. So I befriended him. I know it's a risk, but I can always unfriend him (more discreetly than ignoring him). Besides I hardly ever post updates to my Facebook because my mother is now my friend! Another story for another day. Come snoop around Mr. Nags Head. See the pictures I have posted. I'm not 100% sure what you are going to learn.

So I'll keep you posted on Mr. Nags Head...who knows where this is going?

Back in the Saddle

I finally succumbed to the virus that has been living inside of me for about a week now and took off early from work yesterday and the whole day today. Ah..the sick day - it is a benefit and a burden. If I actually do nothing and rest, I can get back on my feet pretty quickly. If I get antsy and start stumbling around the house, trying to do all the things I never seem to get to, I just end up prolonging the sickness. Today it was very hard to stay on the couch, but I seem to have done it. A lack of internet helped alot and the 5 hours it took me to get back up and running.

So I finally peeked back at Match. Ugh! Luckily, it's been a ghost town. Nobody has been looking for me and I haven't been looking for them. But these last round of dates has made me wary of my instincts and my selections. So many of them sound the same and not like me. If you want to go to Europe, go! Don't wait for me! So I popped on some power girl anthems from Sugarland and started wading through. I sent out a few emails and winks (maybe 1 or 2 each - I know I'm a huge chicken). And I have to spend more money to extend my eHarmony subscription. Awesome!!!

OK. I'm going to suck it up. I'm getting back in the saddle. I'm not giving up. Sorry to have anything more uplifting or convincing...but I'm just trying to figure alot of things out.

Housekeeping Notes:

I found out today that I didn't win the contest to meet The Pioneer Woman. She didn't like my family recipes. I'm bummed.

If anyone has date stories to share from the trenches or thoughts on relationships and want to share, send me an email. I'm always looking for inspiration/ideas/guest bloggers...

And I had one more. But I can't think of it right now. Hmmm....

Oh I remember. I was thinking of an idea/experiment. Does anyone want to take a turn at picking my guys to go after? What if I give one of you my log-ins and you tell me who to go after? Let me know...

F - A continuation

F and I had a lovely, nice, normal date on Saturday. Just lunch. He walked me to my car and I said something like "Thanks so much and we should do this again". He responded, "Really?". Ok - maybe my tiredness showed at the end of the date. I blame allergies. I respond enthusiastically "Sure". And I was off.

Ten minutes after I got in the car, I get a text from F, "Thank you...I had a nice time". Sweet. I saw the text about 15 minutes later (I was driving around the mall). "Me too. Thanks!", I respond. 50 minutes later, I get another text. He writes, "Do you want to do something tomorrow?" Wow...I didn't think the date was that spectacular. I didn't think I was that spectacular. But I wasn't feeling the same enthusiasm - I was feeling selfish (I wanted my Sunday to myself or at least to just pad around the house and we weren't there yet.) So I lied and wrote, "I can't. How about Wednesday or Friday?" See - not a total witch.

And then he immediate writes back, "Yea Wednesday we can have dinner And if things go well maybe friday we can watch a movie together or something". I freaked! My mind is racing - he just wants me to pencil in 2 dates? (Note to reader: Reading this the 2nd time, it's really not as freaky as I originally thought, but I was truly freaked out for 24 hours. I'm like a horse, guys - you spook me while I'm still trying to evaluate you and I will run away quicker than you can blink. I'm just saying. No sudden moves.)

So I keep the freak under control and agree to Wednesday for dinner. I say nothing about Friday. He's cool and we'll talk later.

Next day, 7:00 AM the texts start. I'm at the gym waiting for Jonathan (my personal trainer, guy expert, and master roster builder). I think F gets annoyed that I'm not answering back immediately but I told him I was at the gym. 10:30 another text. It was a busy day (really busy - the bosses were away). I don't get back to him until 4:30 when I check my phone. It's just small talk.

An hour later (5:30), I get a text back from him. It says, "So im gathering your a busy woman lol with work and running and dating....have. u found anyone u want to date yet? Im only asking cuz it seems like u don't have time to talk". I'm thinking you texted me at the gym this morning - but I responded within 20 minutes and then I went to work. They don't pay me to text people; they pay me to work!!!!

I respond back about a half an hour later. I wasn't attached to my phone. I wrote, "Yes I can be busy at times. Just depends on what is going on. I don't sit at home waiting for the phone to ring but when I commit to hanging out with someone, I'm 100% there and present". It's true.

He writes back "I see what r your plands for Saturday". I'm thinking - Again with trying to set up a third date without having a 2nd. You are really doing a great job at spooking me. I'm about to call the whole thing off. So I write back "Are we still on for tomorrow?"

Overnight, I get a response that yes we are still on and what did I want to do. I text back that we should go to dinner in a town in between ours. He says that's good.

And then mid-morning after I ask about what time, he says well I can do dinner but it would have to be after 8 pm. So he asks if I just want to reschedule for the weekend. I say ok - let's do the weekend. I was having a bad day - going home to relax sounded nice. He suggests dinner and a movie on Saturday night. That's fine I say. He'll call me tonight.

It's now 9:30 and still no phone call. I go to bed soon. I'm winding down.

And I'm now wondering if he's playing games with me. Ugh! He's mad because I'm not head over heels and want to talk every minute of the day. Well, if that's the case, it's not going to end well. But I guess we'll just have to wait and see how this saga continues.

I looked good...

For once on a Saturday I looked good. I looked like one of those girls who just looks effortlessly comfortable on a Saturday afternoon. And it only cost me $147 to get my hair cut and colored that morning. And remembering the week before to wash my favorite jeans of all time ( from J. Crew) - yes I bought my first pair of big girl expensive jeans (ie. over $100).

Anyway, so I just played it with F that we would talk on Friday or Saturday and figure out the plan for our lunch or coffee date on Saturday. So at the hair salon at 9, I texted him to see if he was still up for it. Two hours later (I know not everyone gets up as early as I do - and that was sleeping in for me), he texts me. He just got up but strangely is ready to go...

I'm like hold on - you live what I would think would be 45 minutes away from me and you just got up and you want to meet in like a half hour?? So we compromised and decided to meet at The Cheesecake Factory in a mall in between our houses.

Oh and he has a funny voice - it's pretty high for a guy.

So we met. He seemed nice. Had a nice smile. He was tall and athletic. We sat down and started talking. I notice that he's wearing a tee-shirt that says "Jesus didn't tap out". OK? Way to put that out there...

We talk about bad dates we've been on. I tell him about the night before. He has some good stories. He seems cool. He's been to some fun places. He practices martial arts and is into healthy eating.

We finished eating and we had a natural break for the door. It was a nice time. He walked me to the car. And then, it started....

And I almost walked out…

The title makes it sound worse than it really was. But this one was for the pages of this blog. I can’t make this stuff up. So I’m up to letter E. Friday night was beer at a brew pub in my former town of residence with E.

He was running late and I wasn’t feeling like sitting at the bar alone so I popped into Starbucks for a green tea. Then of course, he wasn’t really late and I had a half-drunken tea. The strange thing is I can’t find him in the bar when I get there. I do a lap around the bar. There are some cute guys there in the late happy hour crowd – I wish I had come directly to the bar. I can’t find him anywhere. I text him. He finally gets back to me and says he’s here. I’m like where? No response back to my “Where?” for like 5 minutes. I text him that I’m in front of the hostess stand. Things are getting strange. And then all the sudden he pops up in front of me with a grin on his face from the restaurant side of the building. I’m like oh hi! I’m taken aback because in his pictures he had hair and was thinner. And now he’s Mr. Clean bald and definitely a several pounds heavier. He tells me he was washing his hands…I never knew it could take that long.

The bar is crowded so we head to the back corner were there seems to be a spot. We each order a beer. And so the conversing starts. And it was all over the place and not in a good way. In a weird way.

Here are some examples of the weird things he said to me:

He kept calling my high school – QC. Its nickname is QO for Quince Orchard. (Supposedly he goes there to throw the football around with a friend and run 2.25 miles at full sprint – every once in a while). I suggested maybe he try intervals – put some rest in recovery in between the sprint laps but he just grinned and said “No he just likes to see how much he can sprint”. Ok?

He was the quarterback of his high school football team. He was maybe 5’7” or 5’8”. A few hours later it was only sophomore year. He seems to still be reliving that season of glory.

People in Wyoming go to Seattle to party – at least that’s what someone had told him. I’m like “No they don’t – they aren’t really near each other. And Wyoming is full of cowboys, hunters, fisherman, and outdoorsy people”. He then tried to tell me that Washington state and Wyoming border each other – I’m like again, they don’t border each other. I've driven all over Wyoming.

There were more. He kept saying all these silly and strange things and when I would ask questions to try and make sense and he couldn't answer the questions or they wouldn't make sense. I would just end up smiling and nodding and so would he.

At one point, he was finishing his 2nd beer so I ran to the bathroom because I knew I wouldn't make it home. I thought I would make it back to the bar before he finished. But no!!!! He had a brand new beer when I got back.

I made it almost all the way through the next beer before I was finally like I'm tired and I need to go. It was really loud in the bar. I didn't know what to say anymore or what was going to come out of his mouth.

I did seriously think about just pulling a Houdini and saying I was going to go to the bathroom and walk out - but I didn't.

I excused myself in a nice way and gave him a hug and walked back to the car.

Poor E...I just don't know what to say. I just really don't.

Dating Blitz #2

So we go from dating desert to dating bonanza starting tonight.

Whatever! I have three dates now in 4 days....

I'm more scatterbrained this time so I have no idea what I'm going to wear for tonight or tomorrow's date (I haven't even thought about Tuesday's). I'm more focused on trying not to kill the guys in my office (almost each one is trying to screw with me today).

So it's off to a brew pub tonight with E (right - that's the letter I'm up to).

I'll keep you all posted. I'm going to try and get a few more going for later in the week. Let's see how many I can juggle!!

Spotty Internet is not the reason for my silence

Spotty Internet is not the reason for my silence (although it is the reason I'm writing the post across from a nerd with a chess book and wearing a shirt for our local community college (nicknamed "Harvard on the Pike") at one of my local Starbucks). The reason is a combination of lack of real solid news, motivation and time.

I have put sleep and exercise and cooking and a million other reasons (like movies and singing in the car) before you. And I've been feeling guilty (thanks Catholicism) about this whole dating thing. I haven't been as dedicated to it as I should be. But it's not that I've been sitting at home on my butt. I've just been running around - doing things (in traffic). And I haven't been making time.

Well I take that back, my therapist (who reads my blog now) said last week, she's worried that my dedication will diminish now that it's set in that it's going to take me longer to make this happen than I had secretly hoped. Of course I hoped it was going to be easy (but like everything in my life - it's never easy). Can't one thing just be easy? Just once?

Anyway, so her statement has been playing around in my head and I renewed my effort on the getting dates front last week and I should have some first dates to talk about next week (YEAH!!!) It should be interesting...

So in my free time, I have been answering stupid questions - like what is my dream vacation? (Right now I'd say anywhere away from work with hot guys to look at? - not really a good answer to a guy, right?)

So that's what I've been up to...but I need MOTIVATION!!! Yell at me. Harrass me! Anything! I need all the help to stick to this that I can get!

That's it. Amen!

Breaking up is hard to do...

So I did it again. I sent an email to a guy who I've been on and off emailing with on Match. I lied and told him I was pursuing another relationship and so I didn't think we should continue chatting. Ugh! I lied. I hate lying. But the poor guy sent me an email that he was still interested. And I was definitely not interested.

The funny thing is when it came to responding to an email from a pudgy male administrative assistant (who like puppies and cooking and who knows what else), I couldn't tell him I wasn't interested. (His profile reads "Mama's boy" - I'm sorry! That's mean.) I think because I hadn't even given the poor guy a chance. So I am just procrastinating....a feel so bad at not giving him a chance.

Since my last posts about my break-up strategy, I've heard some interesting takes and stories on break-ups.

A co-worker told me that she never breaks up with a guy. She always waits and lets him break up with her. As she was telling me this, all I could think is why wouldn't you want to move on. Why wait? Maybe there is something better out there. But I can kind of see it now...(sort of).

The one that really threw me was from a guy acquaintance. He told Jenn and I that he broke up with a girlfriend because he knew that she was miserable. I just kept asking him how he knew she was miserable. It just didn't make sense. Why would you break up with someone because they were unhappy (not you)? And how would you know?

But this one makes me think of something my therapist said to me this week, "Independence is easy, vulnerability is hard". I think that is totally true for me. I've struggled with that for a long time - am I too independent? Maybe, but it's part of who I am. But so is vulnerability. I'm more vulnerable than I show to others. I just need to work on showing more of it - to everyone.

Happy Easter everyone!

I'm back

I'm back. I'm alittle relieved to have not blogged this weekend. I did miss you all. But I had writer's block. Well too many ideas, buzzing around.

I've been missing the mark with internet dating lately. Lots of missed connections. Missed emails. Emails not returned (not by me - I may be slow - but I email back eventually). I have been putting out feelers, but nothing has really been returned. So it's been discouraging.

I just took a break from emailing a 41 year old guy. I don't even care to talk to him. How sad is that? I don't really know anything about this guy. I feel like I should give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe?

Is that my problem? I'm not a good picker? I'm going to the wrong places? (more on that tomorrow). I'm struggling alittle with these questions. Dr. Phil says it's about quantity. The more you date and interact, the more you're likely to find your mate. And that rings true to me. I've learned that he's not going to find me sitting here on my couch. (I wish he would). You have to go out there and take chances. But am I taking enough chances? I have basically lived in the same place my entire life - how many chances have I really taken?

So any ideas? I've gotten a few. I'll probably try a few of them. What do I have to lose?

Here are the ideas: Sons of Italy dinner in Baltimore (maybe some old lady or man will want to set me up with their grandson), and rock climbing

Ok, I'm off to contemplate these things.

Sidenote:

I think I've replaced my addiction to celebrity gossip with regular blogs (I have up celebrity gossip for Lent. Last week of the insanity!) I think my boss is going crazy. I can't help it. It's much more interesting than work...accounting can be so boring sometimes.