Back in the Saddle Again...J

Yes kids, I went on a date. Somebody had to break the dry spell. And the first guy that asked me to coffee got to be Mr. J.

Mr. J. What do I say? He was nice. He was polite. He was foreign - a former Communist. And that's about it. There were no sparks. No flirting. No fun conversation. It wasn't bad conversation. There was just none of that special something that made me excited for more.

I wore a cute but casual date outfit to coffee. We spent just over an hour together and then I had to go but I think he was ready to go too. Like end this on a good note.

Will there be a second date? Probably not. I just don't have the time. There are other letters to add to my list.

Oh one thing I have to note: As we were talking he often crossed his arms over his chest, which was fine because I could tell that he was satisfied and fine, but I think any body language expert would say it's definitely a closed-off body expression. It's just a weird thing you notice as you are pretending to listen ( I swear I listen - I can just multi-task).

And the Oscar for Frigid Ice Queen goes to...

It feels good to be almost caught up with what's been going on. I say almost because every date has the day after and this one is a doozy. But we'll get to that tomorrow...

Now to the main event. My date on Monday night with "I". As some of you knew because you follow me on Twitter (or happened to be emailing me then), I received the address of "I"'s condo and had a little meltdown. I knew it was in a part of the city that was being re-gentrified, but actually, it was in a slightly different area farther from the Metro. In a no-man's land in a even more "up-and-coming" area that I had only driven through once in the last two years. Luckily, thanks to the arrival of the summer solstice, I had alot of daylight/dusk hours the day of our date and didn't really have to run around the neighborhood in the dark. But the fact that the neighborhood had just gotten its first sit-down restaurant didn't endear it to me.

So I find parking near by to his place and I go around to the front of his condo building. He meets me outside. He saw me come around the corner. He leads me back to his place. It's on the ground floor. It looks like a typical bachelor pad. It was just a one bedroom condo, but I do notice when I walk in and go to put my purse down on the couch that there are about 4 huge dust bunnies right in front of my feet. Right in the middle of the floor. Awesome impression! So we do the usual chatting thing, while he opens the wine. I notice that he doesn't take the foil off the wine before he puts the corkscrew in it. I don't say anything but can't help but smile when he struggled to get the cork out because he still has the foil on. Just looking at him I'm thinking I'm over this. I am just struck by my lack of attraction to him. Does that happen to anyone else? I feel like my attraction to a guy can just turn on and off. Maybe I'm weird like that?

Anyway, I'm thinking maybe we can turn it back on, but 2 things already strike me as off. And then I notice that he already has a glass of wine for himself. And it has ice cubes in it!!! Mind you, the wine he served me was cold (and delicious). But I thought that I was suddenly dining with an old Southern biddy. So still chatting while he finishes making dinner. Mind you the TV is on and it's pretty loud. Nothing like trying to talk over Pat Sajak and "The Wheel of Fortune". And then somehow the conversation turns to religion. And we start talking about priests and their issues in the news. And he's asking me if I think guys become priests because they are gay and don't want to come out to their families. And I'm thinking, "I have no idea, but I don't think so. They can just go move to a big city and live as gay men." And he's telling me he thinks I'm wrong. I'm getting annoyed at this point. The conversation isn't very even. He has opinions (which don't agree with mine) and he's not even listening to mine. He's just spouting off about things I think he doesn't really know about and not giving any credence to the fact that mine might hold water and that he's basically telling me my religion is messed up.

So we get off that topic and go to eat dinner. He directs me to the couch and coffee table in front of the still blaring TV. There is a small bistro table in the corner of his kitchen, but evidently we won't be sitting there. No, we eat on the couch, side-by-side in front of a rerun of "Law and Order - SVU". (Oh I almost forgot we go to sit down and he's like I have to go to the bathroom and in his little 1 bedroom, the bathroom is almost in the living room - so I can hear everything and I don't think he washed his hands.) It's also at that point I realize he is wearing old track pants with a button down shirt. I guess a date with me was not special enough to even throw on a pair of jeans. I just wanted to eat and get out of there...but I had only been there about 45 minutes and I felt really bad dining and dashing. So we finish quickly because we can't really talk to each while sitting side-by-side and watching SVU.

So he's says, "Do you want to watch a movie or TV?" I say "TV". I don't want to be stuck there through an entire movie. So he slips off his shoes (still in the old track pants and button down shirt) and proceeds to lay across two-thirds of the couch. I'm now relegated to sitting on the teeny edge of the couch. He caresses my knee and I just jerk it away. I'm the total frigid ice queen. I'm just not having it. He's looking at me with this crazy grin on his face like he's a used car salesman. So now that SVU is over, we end up watch a combination of "The Real Housewives of Orange County" reunion show, "The Real Housewives of New Jersey" (needed to see it anyway) and MSNBC (a channel I never watch - my eyes instantly glaze over). He tells me something about the GOP presidential hopefuls and we end up talking about Mormons. I can tell from the basic questions I'm asking him he knows nothing about the religion. Ugh! One of my biggest pet peeves - don't spout off about something you don't know. Just admit you don't know and ask questions to get information. I recommend he read a book written by Jon Krakauer, a non-Mormon, about Mormonism but he's not even listening. He's just talking about how crazy it is. I'm just trying to figure out if I can leave yet.

So I can see it's getting darker outside. I'm thinking I can use the darkness as an excuse to leave because this is getting crazy. He's laying across the couch like he's a Roman senator. And he keeps scratching his balls or at least touching them. I try not to look...but I don't even know. I'm barely sitting on the couch. I look so uncomfortable. He's totally oblivious.

The Real Housewives is over. I'm like "OK time for me to go." He doesn't put up a fight. He walks me out to my car around the corner. I say "Well here I am. Thanks for dinner." He gives me a hug and feels up my butt. Whatever! I hop in the car and I'm so happy to be off.

It was an Oscar winning performance of the Ice Queen. I wished I had video of the date. I feel like there are details of the date that I've missed. I've given a few details to J. Ross this AM and based on clothing alone, he told me this guy was OUT. And I was so glad we were in agreement.

Second Date with "I" - Opposites Attract?

I'm feeling feisty. I just broke Oprah's rule of eating - no eating after 7 or 8 (or whatever time it is she said). It's just before 9 PM and I scarfed down a homemade flank steak taco with pico de gallo and hand grated Monterey jack cheese. And it was worth it. Also, I've realized that I have eaten tacos for 4 nights in a row. Oh well - they were all homemade (mostly by me).

Well last night was date 3 with "I" and some of you know it started out with anxiety and it got alittle crazy. And I'm dying to tell you all about it, but since I haven't told you about date number 2, I thought I should recap it first.

So as I posted last week, I had some last minute middle of the night anxiety about this date. But thanks to some advice on what to say by J. Ross, my trusty advisor and personal trainer (this guy has juggling a roster of woman down to a science). I texted "I" and got him to change the location of the date from his condo to a restaurant in fun young professional city just over the river from the big city. A fake late meeting was my little white lie...

So we meet at the restaurant. I walk in right after him. I had been to the restaurant once before. Fancier American food but nothing too crazy. So we have dinner and talk about the menu for awhile and what we are having. I had the trout and a glass of wine. It was delicious. I almost inhaled it (it was that good - why I haven't been eating trout before last year I don't know). He had some kind of seafood dish. He kept wanting me to try it. I was like "No, I'm good." Seriously, if I wanted to eat your food, I would have ordered. I'm perfectly happy over here with my trout. After three times of asking, I think he got it. Besides, I don't want to be called fat again by one of my dates for my appetite.

We linger over our remaining drinks/wine and then look at the dessert menu. Neither of us order anything. I was having a fun time. The thing I did notice was we have nothing in common. He lives in the city/works in the city/uses nothing but public transportation. I live in the suburbs/work in the suburbs/practically live in my car in traffic. I listen to pop and country. He's a big hip hop and Latin music fan. He works in politics and I don't (and anyone in DC knows that usually he wouldn't give me the time of day for that reason). People who work on the Hill are like that. We just couldn't come up with anything.

So he pays the bill and says, "OK shall we go?" I was thinking, "What a buzzkill. I was having a good time." I can tell by the time we get out to the sidewalk this is the end of the date. He walks me a block or two down and we go in our separate directions - me to my car and him to the metro.

When I get in the car, I look at the clock. I had only met him an hour and 45 minutes prior. I didn't know what to make of it...but obviously a third date occurred. So tune in tomorrow to find out what happened.

Abandonment Issues

You must think I've abandoned you. And honestly, I have. It's the 20th of June and I've been on 2 dates this month. With the same guy. Not exactly a great back in the saddle record (although better than May).

What have I been doing with all my time? Honestly I don't know. I feel alittle like a zombie today. I can tell you it wasn't laundry or cleaning because I did 4 loads of laundry (finally) and scrubbed the 2 most used toilets in my house yesterday. I know gross!

I have been eating alot (right now I'm having afternoon snack). Running some. Cooking and baking (I'm soon going to be the queen of cupcakes - at least 2 kinds). Started spinning (at 6 AM - maybe that's why I feel like a zombie). Forgetting shirts at home (this AM). Sitting in traffic (hate it - but usually singing at the top of my lungs if you see me). Getting speeding tickets. Drinking half a bottle of SkinnyGirl Margarita (that's what I get for drinking with a 24 year old).

Where was I going? So sorry! I know I said I would post every day and now it's trickled down to every 5 days...

But here's a story from today...something short. Tonight, I'm going over "I"'s house (condo) for dinner. He's insistent. So I forgot my shirt this AM and I realized when I was at the gym (3o - 60 min from my house - depending on traffic). Just an early AM oversight...

So screw this...I workout and just go home after the gym to shower and change. I'm not wearing my sweaty workout out shirt to work and then buying something at the mall. Too much pressure.

So go home, shower, change...get back in the car and drive through the rain back to my office. Halfway to the office, a thought passes through my head. I think you wore this shirt to the 2nd date with "I". AHHHHH!!!! That date was a week ago. So many thoughts have passed through my head. I don't remember if I did or didn't wear the shirt. How can I not remember? I used to be so good at this - at cycling date outfits and remembering who saw what. That's when I knew something had changed...because I said to myself, "Who cares? If I already wore it, I'm sure he won't remember (in reality, it would probably be the one thing he remembers)." But as women, we need to give ourselves false hope.

I tweeted about my now comical prospect of repeating date outfits when I get to work. And then 10 minutes later, I remember the outfit I had worn a week ago. I was safe!!! It was a different outfit.

So I guess I'm 1 for 1 today.

I was a Hot Mess...

Time for a recap for date number 1 with "I". He gets quotes because I don't know want to confuse him with myself.

It happened last Saturday afternoon. Saturday ended up being a totally crazy day. Friday night, I went out to a show at the main rock club in the city. It's in an area that's being re-gentrified. It's been so long that I forgot how late the shows go...we didn't get home until 1:30 AM. Which would have been fine, except I had to be up at 6:00 AM to run 10 miles.

So after 4 hours of sleep, I somehow rally to the run and make it through in the heat. My body is not loving it but I make it. So back home, shower and get ready because I have an hour drive to the coffee shop I am meeting "I" at. We are meeting in an area of the city I've only been in a few times. It's also being re-gentrified I discover. A fancy furniture store and chocolate shop are on the same block as an AIDS clinic and soup kitchen. (Oh and last weekend was the gay pride festival and the neighborhood we are in is the center of gay culture in the city. Kind of surreal atmosphere to have a first date.)

So no time for a nap, I throw on clothes and head out. We're meeting at noon. I'm running late - traffic on a Saturday is moving but it takes longer than I think. He's at a bar next to the coffee shop. At this point, a beer sounds good.

I order a beer and we start talking. Things are going well. I met him through eHarmony but we didn't really do any of the questions or all that. So I really didn't know that much about him. I finish my beer and so does he and we order another. At this point, I'm feeling it. I really haven't eaten anything all day and I've probably sweated out my body mass at least once. I feel like a hot mess. Also, I only had enough change for the meter for an hour so I have to excuse myself and walk up the street for about 4 blocks to feed the meter. As I drunkenly walk down the street, I quickly pull myself together in the heat and think that he probably thinks I'm totally dashing...hilarious. It would be so easy for me to just leave. I must seem like such a nut job.

But I didn't want to end the date so I feed the meter. I hobble back to the bar (my legs are killing me from the run). He definitely called me out that he thought when I didn't come back quickly that he thought I had dashed...but I must just walk slower than he thought. So we start drinking the next beer. All these people around us are eating. I wanted to cry. I was getting hungrier and hungrier and there is all this food around me. And then halfway through my beer, my stomach started to hurt. And not from hunger. So now in my mind I'm starting to think how to I end this date so I can run home. My stomach is hurting worse and worse...I'm totally have an internal conversation with myself. I don't know how I kept up an actual conversation. He must have been doing most of the talking. Luckily I have to pee so I run to the restroom. When I come out, he's finished his beer and is like time to go? I say a silent "Thank you baby Jesus".

This wasn't supposed to be a cliffhanger

Ugh! This post wasn't supposed to leave you hanging for days. But as you know, life sometimes gets in the way. Running ran late yesterday and I'm battling what I think is half a cold. So I showered and went right to bed. Where I proceeded to shiver so much (effects of depleting glycolic stores) that it kept waking me up until I finally put more clothes on.

So I went on a date with H last week after work. It's funny even though he's a friend of a friend and we've been at the same parties/events we don't really know that much about each other. We do talk to each other when we see each other. It's just I realized I really know nothing about him. And I don't have the help of an internet dating profile to tell me about him.

But no matter, we started out by talking about our mutual friends and their upcoming wedding and all the fun activities that are involved with being in a wedding. Luckily, the girls have made quite a bit of progress on that front since our date. We went to a restaurant that was between my office and his house. We had dinner and talked for a few hours. About nothing in particular - just little funny stories about each other. We called it a night around 11 (I think). I was worried that I would be the one who got tired first (I had been up since 5:30 that morning), but he started yawning first and it was idea to call it a night (see I'm not such a boring girl - ok most of the time I'm the first one in bed). He walked me to my parking garage and we said goodbye.

Oh but I skipped the funniest part of the date (sorry H). This really hit home to me how little we know about each other. We didn't get to agree on a time until the afternoon of our date. I wasn't so sure we were going to have the date that I had alternate plans to see a movie with a friend. But he texted me towards the end of the work day to tell me that he would meet me at 8. So as I said that's he usually is very sarcastic so I thought he was joking - it was 5:30ish then. So I texted back "Really?" and I could tell by his response that he was serious and I had freaked him out. I felt bad. So I said no biggie - I'll go to the mall. And he didn't believe me that it was ok, but I insisted (at that point I was already at the mall and I had some pants I wanted to try on) - so I had a date with myself at the mall for about an hour and a half. I didn't end up buying anything. But it just pointed out to me that he has no idea where I work and how close I was to the restaurant we were going to. Funny!

In conclusion, it was a good date. I really feel like I know the very tip of the iceberg about him and he could say the same about me. That's the one good thing about some of these dating sites - they really put alot of answers to some important questions. So this one is going to take longer to figure out, but that's ok. Alright, it's bedtime for me and I have 5 miles to run tomorrow (and no route picked out).

What are you trying to say?

I was actually on top of my game and had already started today's blog entry last night. But I'm not ready to finish and publish that post yet. Yesterday's ideas and emotions on the subject are different from today's. So I need to sit and percolate with it overnight before I give you all my thoughts...(the funny thing is I'm watching the same show again - the season finale of Bethenny) Stay tuned.

But don't worry. I still have things to talk about. I need to recap my 2nd date with F.

So after the constant need for dates from Chapter 2 of the saga with F, I ended up with a 2nd date a week later with F. He suggested dinner and a movie - I agreed. We talked on the phone and set up that we would me at a local restaurant that is between our houses (closer to mine but I'm still not exactly sure where he lives). So I'm there at the appointed time - he's alittle late. I'm thinking this isn't a good sign, but he comes. (Oh and he's wearing a wrinkled long-sleeve t-shirt with some martial arts stuff on it. Gee! Did I wake you up from your nap?) We put our name in and sit at the bar and get drinks.

We just start talking -- just casual conversation. He pretty quickly brings back up the topic of "You seem busy". I still haven't figured out what he's trying to get at and what is the answer he wants to hear. But I'm honest. I say well I do work Monday through Friday and he agreed that made sense (I got a laugh). And I pointed out that I had actually just told him that I had spent most of the afternoon just relaxing at my house, watching the movie Juno and napping. So I'm not sure how busy I really am. Looking back I think it might have just been an excuse he was using not to see me again. Really I don't know. I just knew we weren't communicating on the same wavelength.

We eventually got a table. And we ordered food and were talking. The weird thing that came up in conversation was the surgery that I had when I was 13. I've told people about it before - that's not a biggie. But he really wanted to know about why I had it and what it was. It was kind of an awkward conversation. I was alittle uncomfortable talking so in depth about it.

Anyway....we finish around 8:30 and he follows me to the movie theater. Another sign that this isn't going well. A few miles down the road, we get there. We walk in and decide what to see - an action flick. And then it starts - once we get down the escalator, he's walking in front of me. I try to catch up but I can't. My legs aren't that long. So I'm following. I think "No biggie - maybe he doesn't realize". On the way out, same thing - he's ahead of me. I try to catch up but there's no way so I just trail behind. And it's like that all the way back to the car. This has never happened to me. I can see all these couples walking side-by-side out of the theater. I'm not sure how this is going to end at my car, but a few sentences and some guys want to get into the car next to us so we say a quick goodbye and he's off to his car.

I haven't heard from him since then and I haven't tried to contact him. Whatever he's looking for, I'm not it. And he's not it for me. At least I feel like I tried to communicate better. Sometimes you're just not on the same wavelength.

Alright - I need to read this article about women and how hormones affect the men they are attracted to. Research...

And I have to submit another recipe to the contest - you are allowed one per day so I have one more for country style ribs.

Getting giggy with G

I promised you a second post today to make up for the last night's lack of posts. And I'm feeling alittle feisty right now because Bethenny is on right now. And she gets me hyper and ballsy.

I'm behind on my date recaps. The next one I'll talk about is G. G was a nice sounding foreign born guy. He works in the city in an accounting/finance capacity (I couldn't exactly figure it out and I got even more confused when I actually met him and asked him about it.). So we met up in the city at a restaurant near his office that I had never been to but had heard good things about it. I figured at least I'd get a drink and a look at a restaurant that I'd heard good things about.

Well he's nicely waiting for me outside the restaurant. And again, he doesn't exactly look like the picture. Guys - if you once had hair and no longer have hair, don't keep the pictures of you with hair on a dating website. It's not that I have a thing against bald guys, but if you don't update your pictures, it makes me wonder what else are you hiding or not telling me. I used to have a short chin length bob, but that was 5 years ago, so I don't post any of those on my profile. It's not an accurate representation. Maybe you don't like longer dark hair?? Then you aren't going to pick me. It's fine by me. I'm not a big fan of blonds anyway.

There you go - dating tip for today - you can thank me later.

He was very sweet. The bar was packed so he suggested another restaurant that was nearby. I agreed, because he had a somewhat thick accent and being that we were on the street, it was alittle hard to understand him. And sometimes even later, he was alittle hard to understand.

So we ended up at a nice formal Spanish restaurant. We shared a few tapas and I had two glasses of delicious sangria. He was interesting but there was no chemistry what so ever. The date had a tone of a business lunch. Somehow we ended up talking for about 2 and a half hours. Maybe it was the sangria. I did bring up movies (yeah for homework) because I had actually watched a guy movie ("The Fighter") prior to this date. And he proceeds to tell me how he really likes Italian movies from the 1950's. I have nothing on 1950's Italian movies...I just tried not to laugh. I had finally done my homework and this guy is watching something so obscure that I still have nothing.

I used my parking meter as an a excuse and said I had to go. He walked me the few blocks to my car. He was surprised when I gave him a hug at my car. And I was surprised too since I had to lean down in my heels to give him the hug. I knew when I shut the door that he wasn't going to call me and I gave a little cheer. I didn't have to give any bad news after this one.

I haven't heard from him and that's ok. He's a nice guy, but just not the nice guy for me and I'm not the nice girl for him.

Decisions and Copping Out

So the next morning after the date with A, I was thinking. Ok, I'll give him one more date so that I can get some questions answered and some things out on the table. That way we can really figure out if this is going to work. But it's got to be a quiet casual at home or just dinner kind of date.

And then he didn't call or text on Monday. And then he didn't call or text on Tuesday. And I didn't call either day. So I'm thinking by Wednesday early evening that he must have felt the same way about the date as I did. It was weird. We are not that great together.

So I go to see my therapist. We talk about what's been going on for the last 2 weeks. And most specifically about A and this date. And she points out that I need to work on my communication skills and things I could have done better (next time!). She really wants me to call him and get some/give some closure to him. She says I need to use all my courage. I say ok and I'm off.

Well, his ears must have been ringing because no sooner than 5 minutes after leaving the appointment that my phone rings and it's A. I don't pick up because I'm driving and need to fish out my headphones. And for a second, I debate not calling him back. But I have to call him anyway - I might as well make it now while driving home. So I call back. And he acts like nothing is wrong!!! Like our conversation wasn't so weird! Like he doesn't even care that he hasn't even made it to first base!!! This guy has to be a robot!!!

He doesn't even seem concerned that I didn't try to communicate with him in the last 2 days. So after some idle chitchat, he asks me out for Sunday. I just couldn't do it and I had an excuse. My sister and brother-in-law are moving on Sunday and I've now volunteered myself to help!!! (I was going to volunteer anyway, but honestly if I really wanted to, I could have made it work. I'm just a chicken! I admit it!)

So no date is in the works. We'll just see the following week. I need a few more days to psyche myself up. Why is it that it goes perfectly in your head but not so much in real life?

Confusion and chaos reign...

Oh how I've missed posting. Yesterday and Monday were killer days at the office. Long hours and constant whining by the men that surround me. Can you do this? Help me? I don't know how. Their whining and puppy dog looks no longer work on me. I've seen their true colors (love of alcohol, gambling and women) so your sad faces don't make me feel sorry for you.

Only some Cole Haan sandals that I really wanted last summer and suckered myself into buying at $100 and some off made me feel slightly better (and ice cream).

But it has also changed the subject of today's post. I was really struggling with my original idea so I need more time. But I need to update you on my latest date with A. It was very interesting.

So as I blogged about we were going to dinner with his sister and her husband. Now he had described her to me before as kind of ditzy and a former friend of Mary Jane. And he's not super tall and ok build - so I'm expecting some earthy-ish, alittle chubby ditzy bag. What do I see instead when I meet her - a 6 foot something, size 00, dressed casually chic (in pricy jeans - $225 she tells me later) glamazon!!! She could have easily been walking the streets of downtown Manhattan.

Oh - I was so off my game. So confused. She was really nice, but wow not at all what I expected. They don't even resemble each other. We had a beer at her house and it was potent. Why do they make these crafty beers with varying degrees of alcohol? I was lit when we left the house. Luckily I sat in the back, but the roads we took were hilly and windy. Don't worry I made it. The meal was good. A and I didn't really talk that much to each other during dinner. Towards the end, I got up and went to the ladies room (since I had had a beer, tons of water and a couple of glasses of wine). I was feeling much more sober, thanks to the water and food. At first I was like, do I leave and let them talk about me? But my head said that my bladder wasn't going to make it all the way back to her house. So I left the table. Let them talk about me. It was going to happen anyway.

So back to sister's house, say goodbye and then we had about another hour drive back to my house. It was dark at this point, but not really late. He did pick me up before 5. So halfway though the drive, he says to me, "It's so nice to meet someone who shares the same views on God as I do." (or something like that) Thank goodness it was dark because I definitely have laughed/smirked. I'm thinking yeah right - like we have the same views (did you look at my profile - no sex boy?) Plus you don't know this but I support gay marriage so does my mother. So I just ignore him and he goes into this thought about how all the western or ancient religions all stem from Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. I'm thinking where are you going with this? And instead of asking questions so that I better understand (as my therapist said I should), I kind of went off the assumption that he was implying that these were like the true religions or something like that - so I brought up Buddhism and Hinduism...very major world religions.

(I should sidebar here for a second. Two things you should know about me. 1. I really believe in respecting other people's religious beliefs and even if you don't agree with them (as long as they aren't hurtful), you should respect them (and they should respect mine). 2. Not everyone in my family is Catholic. My grandmother was a life-long Methodist and her side of the family is either Methodist or Presbyterian. We went to bible camp at a Methodist church as kids and say Protestant grace at home. I don't understand all the Protestant denominations - but I'm quite familiar with a few.)

So we are in the midst of this very strange conversation about religion and what I feel like he is telling me are the best ones, when my phone rings - saved by the bell!!! It was a friend who never calls me - so I answered. I was never so happy. I made the conversation quick and then explained to A what it was about. And from there we moved on to other topics of conversation. Soon I was home. Earlier in the day, I thought well if we get home at a decent hour, I'll invite him up into my house. Well! He evidently had other plans because he didn't even pull the car in the driveway. It was left running out in the street. He did hop out when I did and we talked for a few minutes in the driveway. It all ended with just a hug and a peck (no sparks this time).

So now I'm confused. What is going on here?

Quick side note: I went in for the hug when he knocked on my door to pick me up and I realized halfway there - no arms outstretched at me. What you don't even want a hug? So I jumped back. Adding to the confusion of the date.

Being Introduced

It's Saturday morning. Teen Mom is on. Love that show. What these girls are thinking? I don't know, but life gets alot harder later on even if you don't have a kid. But I can't stop watching (and sometimes yelling at the TV).

So today I want to talk about introducing someone to your friends and family. Is there a magical or typical time? Do people just do it when it feels right? Is it really that big of a deal? (OK - it is still a big deal to meet parents - at least in my book).

I can still tell you the exact words my father used in high school when he wanted to meet the guys I dated in high school. It was in the form of a question, but it was a demand. "So when am I going to meet this boy?" equalled you better put this boy in front of me before he takes you out again. When those words were spoken, I just physically cringed. But I obeyed.

I've been thinking about this because it seems that tomorrow I'm meeting A's sister and her husband. We are going to go to dinner with them tomorrow. When he first texted me about it, I didn't think anything of it. We've talked about her before. He's very close to both his brother and sister. But now that I've had 24 hours to digest, I'm getting alittle nervous. This is only date number 4. I've just been introduced to his dog. He hasn't been inside my house. This seems like a big step. What does it mean? What's our status? I don't even know what to wear? I wasn't even considering introducing him to my siblings. He did get introduced to one of my co-workers last date - but it was just an introduction.

As usual, I'm just going to have wing it. As with this whole thing....

A Comedy of A Date

You can all yell at me now. I have had 2 days in a row of no posts. I've left you all hanging about my weekend. I'm sorry. Blame my family - they have computer problems (somebody has been going somewhere they shouldn't and it got a virus). So I spent yesterday evening working to clean up their computer and get rid of the virus. It was painful just waiting for stuff to go.

But the good thing was I read most of my brother's Men's Health magazine. Have you read it? It's kind of like Marie Claire for men. I learned alot - like what not to order in certain restaurants and fun sex tips. There was a big article on what women want and look for in a man at different ages (20's, 30's and 40's). The funny thing was I told 3 different guys today that I had read the magazine. And they gave me a look of fear and said "you did? Shouldn't you be reading something else"? Really? There weren't trade secrets in the thing...what are guys so afraid of?

Anyway, last Saturday was date number 3 with A. We had plans to go to dinner and go to a comedy show. I met him at his house and then he drove us from there. His house is nice. I didn't see much but it was nice from what I saw (nothing crazy or unusual, just normal and comfortable looking - phew!) We had a great dinner at a restaurant my co-worker suggested. The conversation was just easy and fun. Then we went to the show. My co-worker and her husband were there so they got to meet A!!! (The verdict on Monday was "he is cute. Very nice and attentive".) So the comedy show starts and the comedian (who I've seen before) is drunk. Great!!! Luckily we weren't called upon or singled out, but due to his drunkness, the set went long and it was a late night. He assured me that he thought was really funny. Poor guy! He had to get up early for work the next day. So we hightailed it back to his house after the show because it was alittle bit of a ride. Good conversation back. We both hopped out of the car when we got back and met behind his truck. In the dark before I knew what was happening, I got my kiss! It was nice. There was a spark. We parted and I was off.

The next morning, while I was just getting up and he had been up for about 4 hours already, I texted him to apologize for keeping him out so late (the date was my idea - I paid for the show). And we had a fun text exchange. And then the next day on the way home from work, I got a phone call and plans were made for date 4 this weekend. (And it was revealed that his birthday is this week - no I'm not spending it with him.)

OK. That was a short recap. Things are going well. I need to do some work that I'll write about later.

Speed dating

I have not kept one of my ground rules. I definitely didn't post yesterday. Sorry kids! I did think about you and my little crazy journey that I've been on. I guess I could have posted one of my already written posts - but I'm not in love with the one that I've finished.

Also, I'm not really excited to talk about the next date that I had in the sequence of dates. There wasn't anything wrong with it, but it also wasn't very memorable. This was my 2nd date with B - it was last Thursday. So I just had gone on a first date with D the night before and now I had a 2nd date with B.

We went to a casual restaurant in my old neighborhood of Courthouse. As I was late last time, I made sure I left work in enough time to get there on time - and I ended up being alittle early. And he ended up being late! Yeah! I'm not the only late one. He picked the restaurant, but he forgot where it was. He hadn't been to the restaurant before (which I thought was kind of odd.) What if the restaurant wasn't good? I don't know - I'd be too nervous to suggest a restaurant I hadn't been to before. Either that or I'd be up front that I hadn't been there (just get the caveat out there in case it was terrible or something goes wrong). I guess I try to impress.

So we ended up splitting a pizza. And when he doesn't order any alcohol, I don't either. I don't really drink that much as most of you know so it worked with my alcohol diet (I can save that drink for another date). But I kind of missed having a drink. It definitely made the date feel more like high school. I don't know why I didn't order a drink. After the waiter left, I instantly regretted it. We just sat there and drank our waters while we waited for our food.

So we talk and it was nice, but that was it. It was just nice, but there wasn't really any spark. I do have one funny story. We decide early on that we're going to split the pizza (it wasn't huge and it was really thin crust). We got meatball, pepperoni, salami, and sausage (his side was minus the sausage.) Ok - that was four pieces per person. So I ate three pieces on my half and there were like 2 or 3 left. So I say to him, "I think one of the pieces left is mine (I can see it has sausage on it)". He asks, "How many pieces have you had?" I say "3", sheepishly. He starts to laugh (laugh!), and says "I've only had 2." I'm thinking are you calling me fat because I ate three pieces. It's not like I wolfed them down. I carried on a conversation. I guess I'm just a fast eater. I don't know. So then I couldn't eat the last piece (even though I'm still hungry). Ass! So I just sat there and drank about 3 glasses of water while he finished his last 2 pieces of pizza. I ended up not being hungry in the end, but guess what ended up happening to my last piece? He told the waiter to box it up and he took it home! Oh I wasn't touching that piece with a ten foot pole. Ugh!

So we talked for alittle while after we finished eating, but we left the restaurant at 8:30 (which was a pretty early night). Our cars were near each other. He walked me to my car. I went in for the hug - he hesitated for a minute to try and get the kiss, but he chickened out and I was kind of happy. I just wasn't feeling it. And then he asks me out again to a movie (either tonight or Thursday). Some no-name foreign film? Or art film? I said yes. Why you ask? Because I wondered if I wasn't giving him enough of a chance. I don't know. I really don't know if I'm making a rush judgement or what? Anyway, obviously we didn't go out tonight. He emailed me the next day or Friday to set it up and I emailed him back, but I haven't heard back from him. So maybe he reconsidered. Or maybe he got hurt doing the half marathon over the weekend. I don't know.

Overall, I don't know.

Random thoughts on B:

• He's skinner than I am. I didn't realize this at first, but I'm not a big girl. I can still shop in the petite section. I don't know. I like to feel small next to a guy. It also doesn't help that he drives a Miata. Also, not a very manly car. (I have car prejudice. I always have - ever since I started dating. I like guys that drive SUVs and pickup trucks. Sports cars don't do anything for me.) Yes I know I'm shallow. I said I might be. I warned you.

• He's Jewish. I am proven to be a shiska goddess. Carrie and Katie can attest to it. They watched these guys at the Four Seasons in Austin pool circle me like sharks because I looked like I could also be attending that night's Jewish wedding. Little did they know, Carrie and I flirted it up with the groom and his party in the elevator later in our bathing suits and towels. But I'm not Jewish and I won't be converting (even though I thought about it for a minute for the hot rabbi). I am looking for a Christian guy (for the same reasons my Jewish friend is looking for a Jewish guy). He doesn't have to be Catholic or uber-religious, but he has to do Christmas and understand and accept that I will continue to go to church for the rest of my life. And I'm taking our kids with me to church.

You go left, I go right

To recap this week, I'll go through the calendar now:

Monday - The date with Mr. Iron Grip, C (see yesterday's blog entry)

Tuesday - REST!!! I spent my evening at home. I needed a break after my 3 date bonanza and I was supposed to run.

Wednesday - A first date with D (see below)

Thursday - Second date with B (see blog tomorrow)

Friday - A night off again. I was avoiding C (and his endless texts - I got 3 on Friday) and my house was becoming a mess.

Saturday - TODAY!! - Gym, no tan, and laundry - well the laundry hasn't been started yet. I'm blogging instead. But I should get some laundry in before I go out tonight with A - Date No. 3.

I was alittle surprised when I suggested to D that we meet at 8 on Wednesday night for a date and he agreed (I thought it was kind of late). It was just for drinks at a local bar. I had an appointment with my therapist after work so we met up after that. For whatever reason, I decided to kind of dress up for this date. I wore a cute little black dress (not formfitting - a baby doll) and some really sexy black stockings (the guys at work love them). I was the woman in black.

The bar wasn't that crowded for a Wednesday night and we easily found a table to sit at. He's cute and attractive. And when he talks, I can tell he's alittle nerdy because it comes out almost right away that he's in the science field. So we ended up talking about a summer internship that I had between 11th and 12th grade at NIH. It was my one time of working in a professional laboratory. (We goofed around alot with poisonous scorpions, snot and spit - I learned I didn't want to work in a research lab - most people in labs are socially awkward - great people watching.) I can't believe I remembered as much as I did. Usually I can't remember what I ate for lunch yesterday.

So a third of the way through, he brings up that he's divorced. I'm say, "Okay. That's fine". Then he tells me I usually just mention it on the first date - it's really a 4th or 5th date topic. Right. And then he keeps talking. Talking about his divorce and his ex. He knew her for 12 years. They were married for 5. They've been separated for 3, divorced for 1. They met in grad school. They were roommates first. You get the picture. He went on and on. I think in 20 minutes, I knew all the basics about their 12 year relationship. He even told me what she was up to today. I'm thinking "Oh good God". What just happened to it's a 4th or 5th date conversation? I couldn't get a word in edgewise. It was a bad case of oral diarrhea. So when he was finally done, I excused myself to go to the bathroom. I needed a few minutes to figure out where to steer the conversation from there.

Back from my bathroom break, we regroup where he steers the conversation to movies. OK - I don't watch that many movies. I'd like to but I don't. The last movie I saw in the theater was actually in January - it was Country Strong (a chick flick for Amy's birthday). And I watched a few old movies while I was sick recently - but nothing a guy would watch, except for North by Northwest and maybe Pure Country (but only if you like country music). So here is this guy trying to have a conversation with me (but really himself) about how great The Social Network was and how it was so much more of an Oscar contender than it was. If I had had a watch on, I probably would have been checking it. I had nothing to contribute to the conversation. I hadn't seen a single Oscar film (or critcal acclaimed film for that matter). I have to say I was relieved when he said, "Ok, we'd better go".

So he walks me part of the way to my car. We hug. He says to me, "We should go running together on a Saturday some time." (Sorry I skipped over that part of the date - he runs, but slower than me - bad knees or something). I said, "Yeah, (relieved that he wasn't going to suggest a 2nd date) I'm running with a group on Saturdays but in 3 weeks, it's over so after that". That may have been alittle mean looking back. Oh well, I don't admit to being perfect. And I continued to my car. I thought as I drove away - Nice guy. A little rough in the dating department, but he also recognized that we were not a match so no love/time lost (I was a cheap date - one beer). Or so I thought?

Postscript: So I check my eHarmony yesterday or Thursday (I can't remember), and I have an email from him on eHarmony. He tells me what a good time he had and how much we had in common (huh??? - it was really just running and a 3 month gig I had 16 years ago). And he also said it was cool that I had seen the documentary about Banksy, "Exit Through the Gift Shop". Yeah, never seen it. Don't know where he got that from? Some other girl? Maybe he just made it up in his mind because I might have said that I had heard of it? And he wants to go out again. Really? Did he not see that we really had nothing in common? That the conversation was alittle awkward at times? I know that I'm charming - but dang! Are the pickings out there on the internet really that bad? I guess I'll find out as I'm going back out into the pool to look for more first dates. I think D is going to get a "It's not you, it's me email by the end of the weekend".

We May Have the Beginning of a "Stage Five Clinger"

So to continue the saga of 3 dates in 3 days, it's time to talk about date 3 which was just 5 nights ago (Monday night).

I didn't really know much about this guy. His match subscription was ending just after we started talking but he seemed cool and wanted to go to happy hour even if we just decided we were better suited as friends. So we only exchanged an email or two and then decided to meet up for dinner on Monday night. He picked the restaurant - an Italian place in Potomac (I'd heard of it but never been there). Not very happy hour-esque, but anyway.

So off I went. I couldn't tell what ethnicity he was, but upon meeting him I discover that he is Indian. Grew up in the Midwest and now works in DC after a long school career (multiple degrees). He had a nerdy vibe (which didn't bother me, but it can go either strong silent nerdy or pathetic sad nerdy.)

And about 20 minutes (or maybe less), I can tell that I am not attracted to him. And here's what really sealed it for me - he talked about what a bad experience online dating has been and how he just can't meet a nice girl or any friends who are women in DC for that matter. And he went on about it for about 5-10 minutes.

I'm sorry, but that is so unattractive to me. It just makes you look pathetic. Don't tell me some sad sack story about how you meet all these crazy girls who aren't what you are looking for and you are just a hopeless romantic, and want to cuddle...blah blah blah. GIRLS DON'T LIKE THAT! They don't want to hear how pathetic you are. Men are men - they are strong and confident even when they aren't. Believe me, I work with mostly men - I've watched all of them BS about something. I'm just looking for some positive spin. So you haven't met the right girl, so online dating is coming up with all the wrong girls, you can't somehow spin that in at least a neutral way. Don't go on and on into some sob story or spin it as a hopeless romantic story. It's not attractive.

Ok, now I'm getting off my soapbox to tell you about the rest of the date. Dinner was good. We had a nice meal and some wine. The restaurant was closing (we weren't the last ones to leave) so I took the rest of my pasta to go and we walked out to the parking lot to our cars. Quick chat and we go for what I think is the first date hug. But no - the hug ends and I'm trying to back up and he's got a grip on my arms. Before I can react, he goes in for the kiss. WHAT!? Just a small peck. OK...phew. But the grip is still there. This time, I get all tense, trying to move my face away from his - side to side, but still the iron grip. One more kiss - this one feels like slow-mo. I'm thinking seriously - you can't feel me tensing up and trying to avoid you. Red flags/alarm bells going off in my head, but in the end, I just had to let him kiss me again if this was going to end. Nothing in those kisses - no spark. I'm released. I quickly lunge for the door of my car and get in.

So why do I think I have the beginning of a "Stage Five Clinger" (who knows what movie that is from?)? Because I have gotten at least one text from him every day since I saw him. It's like he can't let me go. I saw it in his eyes and it looks alittle creepy. He asked me to go out on Friday a few days ago, but luckily I had possible plans.

I think he's going to have to be thinned from the herd. I had already made my decision to just be friends with him while still on the date. He sounded like he needed dating advice, but I don't know if that's going to happen. I'm alittle afraid to call him up and tell him I don't want to see him again. I feel like he's either going to yell or cry. So just avoiding the inevitable for now.

One last random thought on C:

He said to me that he wants to go to Italy. And I said, "Just go. Go as your next vacation." And he says to me, "well I want to go with someone special. I want it to be romantic". I'm thinking oh good God. I tell him "it's not as romantic as you think. You should just go. You don't want to wait for that woman to come along. I went with my sister." Who says that?

Sunday night date?

So as I left you in the soap opera that was my weekend, I headed down to Richmond (the new hot bed of college basketball - Go Spiders!). A fabulous engagement party (where I answered a few questions about the blog - it was good to get the feedback and thoughts). And Sunday morning I was back on the road again home in order to get myself together for date #2 with A.

I have to say I was nervous. First dates for me are easy. There's really no pressure. You barely know this guy. So you dress casual but cute, go to a bar, you have a drink (or 2), talk for awhile and you pretty much know if you'd like to have another within an hour or so. I have gone of lots of first dates (and lots of them ended with radio silence), but this was a 2nd date. And it was on a Sunday. I'm still not sure if I've ever gone on a Sunday night date. What do I wear? What will we talk about? The afternoon before the date, my head felt like it was going a mile a minute. So what do I do to prepare - one of my favorite activities, nap. It calms me. And I knew I might be more charming with one.

So I actually figured out my outfit pretty quickly and got ready. And pretty much on the dot, he picked me up (yes I was nervously busying myself in my living room/kitchen).

The restaurant couldn't seat us right away so we sat at the bar and had a drink. We eased right back into conversation. The meal went great. Our poor waitress was getting the full extent of both of our sarcasm and she didn't even realize it. We headed back to the bar after a long dinner. This time we talked mostly about his job and family. He has alot of great stories from his job. I was charming (the nap worked). After a few hours, we realized we were pretty much the last people in the restaurant and headed out. He had to work early in the AM and I had the gym. So back to my house, a quick chat/goodbye in the driveway and I bounded back up the stairs into my house.

The only thing about the date was I really wanted him to kiss me at the end. And he didn't. I got another hug and kiss on the cheek. I tried to give all the right signals, but I didn't have enough huevos to make it happen myself. So I was a bit worried that night that he wasn't feeling it as much as I was (and I became more worried when he stopped texting me mid-conversation the next day). But we talked last night on the phone and date number 3 is in the works for the weekend.

So I guess I better make my kiss happen this weekend. Sometimes a girl just has to do what a girl has to do.

Crack of Dawn

A quick timeline - because I hear this is getting confusing - and it's going to get even more confusing because I have more letters to add and more dates to be had.

Friday March 11th - First date with A
Saturday March 12th - Friday March 18th - No dates, just conversations, internet dating, going out with friends, USO - you get it.
Saturday March 19th - A first date with B and an 80's party in Richmond
Sunday March 20th - Race back from Richmond, 2nd Date with A
Monday March 21st - First Date with C
TODAY - REST!!! I was supposed to have running, but a long conference call and an injured knee has me sitting on the couch, blogging and watching "Where the Heart Is" (great book and movie)

So back to the crack of dawn, that's the time I was up on Saturday March 19th. I needed to pack for Richmond and I had an 8:30 AM coffee date in Crystal City with B. That's right - I asked him to meet me at 8:30 on a Saturday morning. And he said YES! My pictures on the web or my emails to him must have been really attractive. Honestly, he is a serious runner so I thought he was probably up pretty early on a Saturday morning (And I guess I was right).

So we were supposed to meet for coffee at Starbucks in the "mall" at Crystal City. He offered to meet me on the street in front of the mall (he said it's alittle confusing to find the Starbucks). But little old confident me said "Don't worry. I'm sure I'll be able to find it." (I'm the least directional challenged person I know.) RIIGGHTTT...there is more than one mall in Crystal City. There is more than 1 Starbucks around the "malls" in Crystal City. In fact, along the Crystal Drive (where the Shops at Crystal City are - aka the mall), there are 4 coffee places that are easily seen and accessible on the street (none of which are Starbucks). So you see where I'm going, I couldn't find it. I was panicking. Thank goodness I have an iPhone. After quickly looking up his number in the email he sent me, I had to admit my stupidity and now lateness and tell him I couldn't find it. After a quick look at a map and a few directions, I finally found him a few blocks away inside the other mall at a Starbucks (why he had to pick the one coffee place inside, I still don't know).

So we had some coffee and sat and talked for about 2 hours. It was a good and easy conversation. We had a bunch of things to talk about. I think the married couple with kids who were sitting at the table near us was totally eavesdropping on our conversation. He's a nice guy. There was one point in the conversation that whatever one of us said we liked, the other didn't. I was thinking "Uh Oh". But it's a first date, we moved on to something else.

So 2 hours and 1 cup of tea, I had to be off to drive to Richmond. We hugged and he immediately said let's go out again. I said "Yes" and we picked this Thursday evening.

So another successful first date. And another 2nd date in the works.

A few random thoughts about B

• He was carrying a shopping bag. I said "I hope you didn't buy me a gift." Don't worry it wasn't. He pulled out an outfit for his 4 year-old niece. He bought it at the outlets for her birthday. But he didn't really say why he had brought it to our date? The mall wasn't open.
• He didn't buy me my drink. It was a $2.50 cup of tea. I may be old-fashioned and sometimes guys don't have alot of money, but it was $2.50 (you should pay.) Don't worry - I don't hold it against him - we are going out again.

First Date of Dates

Note: I started this post many times in my head over the last week. I even started writing it yesterday afternoon. But after talking to some people about my blog, I'm not sure about how to write these posts. So this is going to be my first attempt. I'm sure it'll be not enough details, but I'll probably end up revising it along the way. I just really want to protect the guys. It's only fair to them.

So I met A on Catholic Match. We had a really great email rapport. It was so easy to email him little messages, but after a few he asked me to meet him on a Friday night at a local bar/restaurant for drinks. Cool.

A is 32 years old. He lives about 45 minutes away from me, but he works closer by. He doesn't work in an office. He works 24 hours and then has 48 hours off. He’s also in school getting a another degree. He’s cute. Cute and athletic.

So I get to the bar at the appointed time. I’m wearing (I know you all want to know) sort of skinny jeans (they are a size too big – I have smaller ones now), a flowy tank top, my brown military style jacket, and brown peep toe pumps. It’s packed -wall to wall people. Shoot! Of course, I didn’t look at his picture before I walked out of work (I did have his number), so I had to go off memory. But he found me.

We got beers and started talking. It was a really good light-hearted conversation. I was charming – as Amy says I can talk to guys about anything. It comes from being the one of only a few girls in an office full of guys. I have to know about MMA/UFC, living off the grid, football, basketball, strippers, alcohol, poker, etc. Then I would have nothing to talk about with my co-workers all day long. Don’t worry – we didn’t talk about any of those things! But it was an easy conversation.

The funny thing as soon as one topic ended, he would ask me a question about myself (something I posted on my profile). I couldn't get many questions in edgewise - but it was ok. The only hiccup was I must have put that I like cooking in my profile. When he asked me about it, I had had about 15 oz of beer. I was feeling it (on the way to be cooked). Thank goodness at that point I had already said to him, let's get some food and we were sitting at a table and I was able to get some water. So when he said to asked me about cooking, I just said "I said that?" He started to laugh (I must have had a great expression on my face). I started to laugh and I started to backpeddle. "Well I guess I do like to cook, but I really don't cook right now." In fact, I couldn't even remember the last thing I had cooked. So I said "Ummm, I guess I'm going to have to change that. I mean I will cook. I can cook. I just haven't been cooking". Way to backpeddle, D. Time to stop drinking.

So we left after about 4 hours, a few beers and dinner (I had a burger - yes, I did it. No salad for this girl. He might as well know I'm not afraid.) He had work the next day and I had a 7:30 AM run.

He walked me to my car. Where we had another funny moment. So I had another blouse hanging in the car. I needed options and I was meeting him straight from work. So he caught me. He asks me what is this blouse is for - and I just start to laugh. "You caught me. I needed options. So I guess I won't be wearing this blouse for awhile.". A hug and a kiss on the cheek and I was off.

A few other random thoughts about A:

• He told me I looked better than my pictures I posted on my profile. Smile!
• He makes me laugh. We've talked and texted every couple of days since our date (he did ask me for a 2nd date that Sunday night.)
• The conversation is easy.
• He wants to travel to Europe. I'm over that part of my life and those adventures. I'd rather spend the thousands on dollars on something else.
• I'm questioning my chemistry meter. Did we have chemistry? How will I know?