Liar Liar Pants on Fire

So I know that it's been forever since I posted...but I've actually been busy. I've been dating!! I know..why did I give that exclamation points? It's not that great...more crazy than anything...and of course, work got super busy.

But I have been doing it and I'll back up and tell you all about them. But in the meantime, I'm trying to come up with a good story as to why I don't want to go out on another date with this guy. He called while I was at yoga and I need to call him back. He's persistent.

Oh I so wish I was still on vacation...yes I took a little vacation last Thursday and came home last night. It was so relaxing. I'm so good at unplugging.

Maybe I reconnected with someone? On my trip???

What have I been up to???

I've been up to this before noon today.

It was delicious and potent. Thank you Jenna at Eat, Live, Run

I ate it with her guacamole. And then I took the weirdest nap. It was that stupid Spinning with the Oldies and the tequila.

It was a party for 1!

Last week was kind of crazy. Work has been really busy. But I've had some bright spots. Last night, I had people over to my house for a get-together. It was just my siblings and cousins. But it was a step. My friend Amy wants me to add to my life list that I need to have a party at my house. It was a big step.

Another big step was that I started to free up my schedule. I used to have two volunteer gigs. I volunteer twice a week coaching adults in distance running. This winter/spring, it's half marathon/marathon. Well, I resigned from the other one. That was volunteering for the USO. It was a good gig and it's a great organization. It was just too much. Too much on the schedule. The funny thing was I was at the USO working when I read an article by Bethenny Frankel about how women overschedule themselves and then don't have time to go out.

And you know what? She's right! So that was the icing on the cake. I resigned. And then work got busy and my sister needed IT help at her house.

Sometimes you just can't win.

Sleeping Beauty Awakens...

Sometimes the days fly by and the weeks go on and before you know it the month is coming to the close when you swear it was just beginning. It's like you are Sleeping Beauty and you have just awaken from a deep sleep.

I am Sleeping Beauty. A number of personal and professional obligations (some expected and others very unexpected) have come up through the last few weeks and it has kept me from my blog and my dating adventure.

But I am happy to announce that I am back. I'm going to work hard and get this back on track. I was inspired and scared when I went to dinner last night with a friend and observed a first date going on next to us. I really wanted to interview them. It wasn't going very well. They were both older. They split the check...Oh!! The trials and tribulations begin again.

Recovering...

I'm recovering from my duties as a bridesmaid. It didn't really seem that tiring when I was doing it this past weekend, but switching gears back into the real world has thrown me for a loop.

Thank you everyone for your comments on my tipsy rant on my ballbusting problem. I'm glad you all liked it. I read a few of your emails with one eye open. I'm not exactly ready to face the music.

Maybe I should write a few more posts with a few glasses of wine in me. On a funny note, the guy I was ballbusting on that night was actually smacked in the balls the following night! And not by me! I just happened to witness it (pure luck or need for another vodka and soda). And not by a girl - but by a drunk guy friend of ours. It looked like it killed...I felt really bad for him. See my ball busting not so bad.

I have a bunch of ideas brewing around. Not alot of exciting date prospects but based on discussions, a few of us are in that boat. What's up with that?? And basically I've come to the conclusion that Mr. Right is going to find you when and where he is going to find you. But then what do I do? Do I search for him in every encounter (until I look like a crazy detective)? Or do I just play the passive card (and do nothing and hope I'm just hit that bolt of recognition)?

I wish someone would answer the last question.

I'm Tipsy and Mistakes were made

If this post doesn't make sense, you can blame Nicholas Cage, the Pioneer Woman, coozies, Bud Light, red wine, Super Target, and everything else that is running through my mind and distracting me this evening.

Let me set the scene. It's 10:00 PM at night. I'm laying in a hotel room in middle of nowhere important Virginia. (it's a Hampton Inn - I love them - free WiFi, hot breakfast - what more could a girl want). Tomorrow I'm a bridesmaid in my friend's (and loyal readers') wedding. I just bought bottles of sparkling wine and juice for tomorrow morning. I think the girls that told me to do were tipsy.

So I've come to the realization that sometimes when I drink I get a slight case of oral diarrhea. And I can't spell the word diarrhea. Anyway, I say things I shouldn't sometimes...they just come tumbling out. It gets other people in trouble. I do it to one up the guy. I do it because I'm a ballbuster (sometimes). There I admitted it....sometimes, I am a ballbuster.

And you know what. It's not good. Guys don't like ballbusters. It's uncool. I suddenly turn into the uncool girl. I can control it when I'm sober, but tipsy forget it. I don't know what came over me. I'm just going to keep my mouth shut tomorrow. That's what I'm going to do. I want to be the cool fun girl, not the ballbuster.

Thanks guys. I'm going to bed now before I house the homemade chocolate chip cookies that are sitting on the desk across from me. Another side effect of a few too many adult beverages.

Thanks for listening. I have no great solutions...but the problem has reared its ugly head again.

Help Needed

I promise this won't be the only post this week, but I need some feedback from you. I need to know what some of your favorite blog posts are so far.

These blog posts are like my children. I put them out there in the world and I'm not really sure which ones will float and which ones will sink. But I'm curious to know which ones you like.

So leave me a comment and let me know which ones you like! Everyone that lets me know will become my favorite readers.

I Don't Know What to Say

I feel like every other post on this blog these days is a "please forgive me for being a bad blogger". My days are just super full (they actually expect me to get work done at work!) I have been on Match.com since I last posted!! Yeah!! I can't say I'm super excited about any of the guys that are messaging me, but we'll see.

There are definitely not any guys coming to my house trying to date me. I did try to flirt with the three repairmen that came on Friday. One was married (I don't know about the other two) and asked me if my boyfriend or husband could reattach the cover to my furnace. It was very sexist. And what did I do?

I made up a boyfriend. he was a office working piece of s who can't fix anything. This way the repair guy would just tell me how I could do it (which I did - all by myself). But it's probably the truth. My Dad can't fix anything. And I knew my Mom would yell at me if I admitted to the repair guy I lived alone. She wanted my Dad to come over while he was there. I swear she watches way too much "Dateline" or "Primetime" or whatever show Chris Hansen is catching predators on. I had more freedom as a teenager than I do now in my 30's.

Anyway, I guess I just needed a good rant about my annoying need for a fake boyfriend. I'm super busy right now, but wedding season is kicking up into full gear in the very near future. I promise I will post 5 times a week for the rest of the month.

Also, if anyone knows a good dream interpreter, let me know. I had the weirdest dream the other night - like woke me up it was so disturbing. It was disturbing because I was stuck with no way out (of a bodega in the projects with a old Asian lady and my friend Amy). Scary, no? Also included very realistic gang violence (according to the movies - I don't spend a ton of time in the projects - thanks to my Mom, Chris Hansen's biggest fan).

The Dating Game - Summary Version

I was going to do another installment of "The Dating Game" as I actually got on Match.com today and sent out a bunch of winks and messages (and all that other stuff). The prospects were good. Maybe babies are back from the summer finally. Maybe now that I've been in touch with the social media guy at Match.com he's throwing some good ones my way.

So you say...what happened? Why no descriptions of these hotty fatotties? Well my friends, my water heater decided to drain itself slowly at some point over the long weekend - all over the closet and the hallway. Yeah! And I discovered it this morning after I did my work on Match.com but before I could write a post. Has this ever happened to you? Non? Count yourself lucky. The carpet is so moist (sopping) and now has weird stains on it. And now I don't have hot water for 4-5 days.

Anyway, this post is being derailed. So I sent messages to about 6 guys. Also, I got some pictures taken today by a photographer. It's time to update the Match.com profile photos. And I'm excited. And I can't remember my eHarmony password.

So you are getting a quick summary of "The Dating Game". I'm just going to give you a quick description - 1 sentence.

Bachelor #1 - He winked at me a few days ago. Not usually my type but he has alot of pictures of him playing rugby or football. Looks good. He's emailed me today.

I sent a message or wink to all of these guys...

Bachelor #2 - He's an Eagles fan. I know. What am I thinking, but I sent him a cute message anyway. He was the top match per Match.com.

Bachelor #3 - Midwestern guy - lived all over the world. Now is in DC. You know me, I like wholesome.

Bachelor #4 - Scruffy facial hair guy. He's got a cute face. That's all I remember. And he had a funny comment about puncutation.

Bachelor #5 - Volunteer Football coach, good looking Hispanic guy, already rejected me :(

Bachelor #6 - Don't even remember anything about him, now that I see his picture. But he must have had a good profile because I winked at him.

Bachelor #7 - His picture made him look like he worked in a hotel, but he has a kind face.

Bachelor #8 - His first picture looked douchey, but he also had a picture of him at Sonic. And that was enough to get a message from me.

Wow! Eight guys. That's not bad. I must have been inspired by "Most Eligible Dallas" since it was on. I'll just have to keep watching it while internet dating. It makes me very chatty!

Quick blogger's note

There will be some changes to the blog in the next couple of weeks. I went to a huge women in blogging and social media conference last week in California and got lots of good info/tips/ideas for my blog. Some I've already started implementing. Some I'll be working on amid sleep (I took the red eye back last night), duties as a new aunt (born 11 days early while I was in CA), and bridesmaid duties (back-to-back bachelorette party weekends out of town).

So I thank you in advance for your patience, dedication, and love. I'll be asking for feedback so let me know what you think. An silence will be judging as undying approval.

Peace!

Sometimes You Can't Escape Your Past

Two weekends ago, I had my mom over to my house on a Saturday afternoon for Starbucks. Homegirl loves a white chocolate mocha with all the fixings - even in the heart of summer - and drunk through a straw. I owed her a Starbucks and I was craving an Iced Mocha (it's my new fav - ok really I only drink 3 drinks there.)

So we were drinking our beverages and lounging in my living room. And she's telling me about going to the local running store to get some new shoes. I had forgotten I had told her to go there instead of the place two towns over.

She tells me this creepy guy waited on her at the store. She said he was really weird. I immediately knew who she was talking about. I asked her a few questions about his appearance to verify, but I was right. She was talking about my boyfriend from senior year of high school. Yeah!!! It makes me so proud. My senior year boyfriend is the creepy guy that works at the running store in my hometown.

Somehow every time I go in there, he eventually waits on me. I may rush over to someone else and ask them questions. They get the product, but when I get up to the counter, they always pass me off to him. He just has this weird stare. He keeps staring at you, and evidently he did it to my mom as well. The best part is he acts like we know each other but just as old co-workers/acquaintances (that's how we met - at our teenage workplace, not school).

So my poor mother is evidently receiving the creepy treatment. I told her just to go back to the other running store. It's cheaper anyway. And I'll be shopping there as well. So much for supporting my hometown mom and pop running shop!

Note - The other running store is also a mom and pop - just not in our town.

Note - This was the same guy that also ran into my sister and her friend in a bookstore while I was a junior or senior in college. He proceeded to tell her how he didn't understand why I wouldn't make out with him at his church youth group bonfire. She was like "ok" and crept away from the creepy guy. What was I thinking?? Sorry that I didn't feel it was appropriate to mug down with you in front of your church youth group! Clearly, we're not meant to be.

Marriage Question...When to say yes? When to quit?

I have been in a few weddings. In fact before I wrote this post, I was taking pictures of the gold shoes that I'm going to wear in Greg and Jenn's wedding in 60 days as a bridesmaid. I actually had to buy them for another wedding that I was a bridesmaid in a few years ago. I'm gearing up for several weekends in August of bachelorette parties. So excited!

But that's not what I wanted to write about. Well sort of. In the last two weeks, I've had two conversations about divorces or separations. Luckily, none of the weddings that I have been in have been in that category. Last night, a friend told me that some mutual acquaintances of ours (old work colleagues) who had married each other were now separated after three years of marriage. This is not the first time this has happened. Two other couples I am acquainted with also got divorced after 2 or 3 years of marriage. All of these people were married and divorced before 35 - some before 30. The wife told my friend that she and her husband are just better as friends than as a married couple. And I started thinking...what does that mean?

Having never been married, I don't know all that it takes to be married or stayed married. But how do you know that it's right to jump into a marriage? And how do you know to when to call it quits? Do you just get caught up in the excitement of love and a wedding? Will I make the right decision when that moment comes knocking on my door?

I'm not the only one who has seen these situations. My sister was in a wedding that is now a divorced couple. Even my cousin who is only 26 has friends who are married for about a year and now divorced.

I'm sure none of these people went into this thinking they were going to get a divorce. I'm sure tears were shed and words said in anger. So what happened? I know I'll never know the answer. Each situation is different. But as a single person looking for love, it scares me all the same. I don't want to be in that boat. And I know they don't want to be either...

A Betting Woman

On Thursday night, I volunteer at the USO lounge. I've already discussed the crush one of the other volunteers has on me. Ugh! He's so disappointed that I'm going to miss our next volunteering shift together.

Around 8:30 the lounge got dead. There was one poor guy left, but everyone else had meandered over through security to the gates. So my boss started asking me about my dating and my blog. And so we started our brainstorming session. Where else can you go to find guys besides internet dating sites? It's not that I hate them, but sometimes you just need to cover a few more bases.

So here was the list:

1. Country bars (from my crush) - evidently his daughter picks up men there. He doesn't really like any of them. They just work jobs he says - just getting by - no careers.

2. Running clubs - over 50% of people that run are woman and the % is going up. Tried this route - lots of ladies or older men. Only a few eligible men.

3. Church - ugh! that has always been my mother's suggestion. That's where my parents met - a church single's event. You know how that goes - you never want to admit your parents are right. I did try the Catholic dating site. So I sort of tried that.

4. Kickball/Softball leagues - I almost joined one a few years ago, but I chickened out. I didn't want to do it alone and then my friend couldn't do it. I know people who have met their spouse that way. And I have an old co-worker who is still single and plays in the leagues. So it's a possibility. I haven't played softball since the 6th grade so I'll need some practice...

5. POKER games! - I almost died when my boss said this. I know how to play poker. I'm not half bad, but I get tired and give up after a few hours. He plays all the time. He's like yeah - it's a captive audience of men. Half the table folds on average and so they need someone to talk to while the hand is still going on. I've played in a few poker tournaments and the guys don't enjoy it if you take them out (which I have done!!), but he says it's all good.

So it looks like I need to find myself some poker tournaments to enter...maybe that I could get good enough to make it my next career...(just kidding - like I said I get tired...tournaments go on forever!)

An Internet Minefield

I wrote many months ago that I had put profiles of myself on three different websites. Well really, I have 2 profiles on eHarmony due to a set up glitch. This extra profile might come in handy later so I have yet to remove it. So that really made a total of 4 profiles.

My profile on Catholic Match wasn't really giving me great results. I did find A on there but obviously that didn't work out. Since A, it has been no pickings on that site. Lots of guys that live far away from me and are just not what I am looking for. I received notice that my subscription was up at the end of June. I knew it wouldn't automatically renew because my credit card had changed. So I just ignored their renewal notices. And I thought they would just kick me off.

Oh, but no! They don't just kick you off. They just step you down to the free membership (You mean I could be doing this for free?!) Now, I'm just annoyed by their emails. They still send me profiles. In fact, I'm annoyed by all the dating websites' daily emails. Don't even get me started on the commercials!

So I logged on to the website tonight. Of course, there are no clear instructions on how to get off this ride. I try the account settings. Luckily, on the side there's a FAQs with one that says "You want to delete your profile?" Yes! Yes I do! A new window pops up but I don't see a button. No, it's just explanations on how you can keep your profile up there without paying and you'll regret this language. Believe me, I can handle any regret on this. And down at the bottom is a little sentence that says "Do you still want to delete your profile?" I click on it. Finally, a button on this new page to actually delete. I hit it. I'm FREE!

Don't worry, they save my profile and all my activity for 30 days if I want to reactivate them! They get you coming and going. I feel like it must be easier to get a divorce, but of course it is, this is a Catholic dating website.

Brain Freeze

I usually think about my posts during the day. Plan out a little outline or formulate the idea in my head over the few hours that I'm at work. And I had done that today...but then I got to my volunteering gig. And I suddenly have gone completely void of memory and thought. My mind is full of useless military jargon and acronyms. My real job has nothing to do with the military so it's not second nature to me.

So here I sit with nothing in my mind. I tried flipping though Elle and Cosmo but nothing hit the spot. I guess I could talk about my boyfriend here at volunteering. He's awesome. He has 2 daughters my age. I found out today he's just shy of 60. He's a new grandfather. He has invited me to his house once for a BBQ and yard work. And several weeks ago, he invited me to go on vacation to Myrtle Beach with his family. And he hugged me in the parking lot after our first shift (I don't enjoy hugging strangers, especially older men). So awkward....

My boss also volunteers with me from time to time and knows this guy. I told him about it a few weeks ago. He just started laughing. I was like, "Thanks!" He told me, "Nice boyfriend." As a friend tweeted a few days ago, why are the old guys always into me?

So now I dread when I work with him, but so far tonight he's been ok. He's a good volunteer. And as my boss tells people about why I'm volunteering here, it's to meet men!

White Lying

I'm a liar by omission. I'm terrible at out and out lying. Always have been. My family can call me out every time I lie. I have the easiest tells. Luckily, somehow that doesn't translate to the poker table.

I never told my family about my blog. I was going to tell my sister and brother-in-law. My brother could care less. When we talk, it's usually about him and he's incredibly busy. No really - he's an intern (as in Grey's Anatomy not Monica Lewinsky). He doesn't have time to read his big sis' blog. He doesn't even have time to eat half the time.

Anyway, I was going to tell my sister - even though she's a nosy Nellie (name that TV show reference?). But she got pregnant and witchy. She's actually better now that's she in the 3rd trimester but I'm having problems with courage.

Why do I have such a hard time telling my family about what I'm thinking or feeling? We are a close family, but maybe it is that we are used to seeing each other that we get bogged down in the day-to-day. I think it's more that I'm afraid of somehow disappointing them. I know how ridiculous that sounds.

So I almost came out with it on the 4th of July but somehow they didn't press me. But I need to tell them because it's going to come out when I see my cousin in San Diego later this summer. So it's better to come from me than her.

Wish me luck!

Abandonment Issues

You must think I've abandoned you. And honestly, I have. It's the 20th of June and I've been on 2 dates this month. With the same guy. Not exactly a great back in the saddle record (although better than May).

What have I been doing with all my time? Honestly I don't know. I feel alittle like a zombie today. I can tell you it wasn't laundry or cleaning because I did 4 loads of laundry (finally) and scrubbed the 2 most used toilets in my house yesterday. I know gross!

I have been eating alot (right now I'm having afternoon snack). Running some. Cooking and baking (I'm soon going to be the queen of cupcakes - at least 2 kinds). Started spinning (at 6 AM - maybe that's why I feel like a zombie). Forgetting shirts at home (this AM). Sitting in traffic (hate it - but usually singing at the top of my lungs if you see me). Getting speeding tickets. Drinking half a bottle of SkinnyGirl Margarita (that's what I get for drinking with a 24 year old).

Where was I going? So sorry! I know I said I would post every day and now it's trickled down to every 5 days...

But here's a story from today...something short. Tonight, I'm going over "I"'s house (condo) for dinner. He's insistent. So I forgot my shirt this AM and I realized when I was at the gym (3o - 60 min from my house - depending on traffic). Just an early AM oversight...

So screw this...I workout and just go home after the gym to shower and change. I'm not wearing my sweaty workout out shirt to work and then buying something at the mall. Too much pressure.

So go home, shower, change...get back in the car and drive through the rain back to my office. Halfway to the office, a thought passes through my head. I think you wore this shirt to the 2nd date with "I". AHHHHH!!!! That date was a week ago. So many thoughts have passed through my head. I don't remember if I did or didn't wear the shirt. How can I not remember? I used to be so good at this - at cycling date outfits and remembering who saw what. That's when I knew something had changed...because I said to myself, "Who cares? If I already wore it, I'm sure he won't remember (in reality, it would probably be the one thing he remembers)." But as women, we need to give ourselves false hope.

I tweeted about my now comical prospect of repeating date outfits when I get to work. And then 10 minutes later, I remember the outfit I had worn a week ago. I was safe!!! It was a different outfit.

So I guess I'm 1 for 1 today.

Missing Post

There is a post currently missing from my blog. You may have already read and are now like where did it go? It's all do to Blogger being down yesterday...they removed everyone's posts from a certain onward and will be reposting them hopefully soon...

So no worries for right now!! (I wish I could move over to Word Press but someone has my name) Hopefully the final chapter in F's saga will come back and you can all read it if you haven't.

In the meantime, send me your recipes!!! You have 2 more days!!! Or think positive thoughts that one of mine will win!! You know from the Oprah Show, "The Secret" - that's the secret - the power of positive thinking. I do believe it works.

My sinking heart

I was planning on writing today about my first date with G because I know it's been highly anticipated, but I'm feeling a bit sad right now and I just had to share that...

You know us women...we get sad for reasons even we don't understand. But the floodgates of tears are on the verge of bursting and here's what caused a few tears at lunch time today...

I was reading The Washington Post and they have a feature in their Sunday magazine called "Date Lab". They match up two applicants and send them on a date. Obviously then, the date needs to be reported back on by the two people. Usually it doesn't work out for various reasons but it's interesting to read.

This week's is a man and a woman; they are both over the age of 50 and both have never been married. Neither of them seemed abnormal except for the fact that they had never been married. And I was suddenly so sad. What if that's me in 20ish years from now? Just never met the right guy...? It didn't sound like for them it was a no-go for a lack of trying. Obviously, you don't get the full picture/background on a one page article. But it caused my heart to sink...

Ugh! Are you utterly depressed yet? Maybe not. Maybe I'm just tired. At least it's Friday but I have a 2nd date with F on Saturday night. So I better pull it together before then.

I'm back

I'm back. I'm alittle relieved to have not blogged this weekend. I did miss you all. But I had writer's block. Well too many ideas, buzzing around.

I've been missing the mark with internet dating lately. Lots of missed connections. Missed emails. Emails not returned (not by me - I may be slow - but I email back eventually). I have been putting out feelers, but nothing has really been returned. So it's been discouraging.

I just took a break from emailing a 41 year old guy. I don't even care to talk to him. How sad is that? I don't really know anything about this guy. I feel like I should give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe?

Is that my problem? I'm not a good picker? I'm going to the wrong places? (more on that tomorrow). I'm struggling alittle with these questions. Dr. Phil says it's about quantity. The more you date and interact, the more you're likely to find your mate. And that rings true to me. I've learned that he's not going to find me sitting here on my couch. (I wish he would). You have to go out there and take chances. But am I taking enough chances? I have basically lived in the same place my entire life - how many chances have I really taken?

So any ideas? I've gotten a few. I'll probably try a few of them. What do I have to lose?

Here are the ideas: Sons of Italy dinner in Baltimore (maybe some old lady or man will want to set me up with their grandson), and rock climbing

Ok, I'm off to contemplate these things.

Sidenote:

I think I've replaced my addiction to celebrity gossip with regular blogs (I have up celebrity gossip for Lent. Last week of the insanity!) I think my boss is going crazy. I can't help it. It's much more interesting than work...accounting can be so boring sometimes.

Mid-week update

I owe you a quick update on my relationships...

So I texted A Tuesday to see if he was around to talk. He had been away all weekend and I said no to the Sunday date (moving did go later and was more exhausting that expected). He was in class that night until late and so I told him to call me when he had time to talk. I don't know what his work schedule is. So no phone call yet.

I've been talking to another guy (not even worthy of a letter yet - no date yet). We've been exchanging emails, etc. And he wanted to talk via telephone (slight kiss of death - but I was open-minded). And I emailed him my phone number Tuesday and said "Yes, call me Wednesday". (He only gave me a Monday - Wednesday window. Maybe he doesn't have phone service the rest of the week - just kidding). But no call Wednesday night. So try try again.

And the guy who I gave my number to ("Mr. Business Card"). No email or call from Mr. Business Card. Honestly, I knew I had a 50/50 shot with him. He seemed into me, but who knows what's going on with him.

So there is the update. It's been alot of fall-starts and missed emails (but other parts of my life are busy too). Hopefully, it starts to pick up my readers - so I have something exciting to talk to you about. Or at least funny.