Let me Re-Introduce Myself

My name is Miss Scarlett. And I am an unsuccessful blogger. Well I used to be successful. And I mean successful in the fact that I was having fun, writing posts, going on dates, and tallying up material.

And then I got busy. Busy with other things. With friends and family. My job and running. You see I don't get paid for this and I have other interests. I'm actually a certified distance running coach. I completed three half marathons and a 5K in the span of 3 months from September to December. I also was a bridesmaid in 2 weddings during that same period.

You see, busy. I kept saying I'd get back into, but I never did. But here I am. I need to do this. I need to get back into dating. He's not going to come knocking on my doorstep.

But there is a difference this time. I'm not as concerned about if it ever happens. I mean, don't get me wrong. I want it to happen, but if I never meet the one and I never get married, I'm ok with it. It's not meant to be. And I will be ok.

So let's go. Let's start again.

Slow Turnover

Don't you hate it when you go to start a blog post and you get called into a meeting.

Really, I don't usually blog at work (other than to read and approve comments), but I'm feeling so guilty about the slowness of my posts. I'm finally back from 3 weeks of non-stop travelling and spotty internet coverage, but I'm having the hardest time finding time to put my ideas on paper into ideas on the internet. I guess I was used to being on the road.

I wanted to bring to everyone's attention an awesome class/self-study opportunity that is starting soon. Registration just opened today. As I said in my life list post, I had the good luck of signing up for an all day workshop given by the blogger Karen Walrond (@Chookooloonks) about life transitions (starting one, exercises for thinking about your direction, and documenting it). Karen has turned our one day workshop into a 5 week online/self study course. As someone who has been transitioning in her life and still is, I found the workshop so helpful.

Here is the link:

Chookooloonks Pathfinder Course

If you have any questions, let me know.

Anniversary

Today is the 1 month anniversary of my blog. Can you believe it? I've been doing this dating thing for actually over 1 month. More like 6 weeks.

I guess a slow time after 6 weeks isn't bad...

Here are the stats so far:

1 book read

1 crazy letter sent (and shared on a blog)

3 dating websites that I'm actively on

4 guys dated (A - D)

6 times I've given out my phone number

41 blog entries

countless emails exchanged

It's been kind of crazy, but having this blog has pushed me and helped me tremendously. It's helped me stay accountable and focused and motivated. I really appreciate all the feedback I've received.

Feel free to send the blog to anyone. It's open to the public. It's nice to know that there are other women (and men) in my situation and maybe they'll know they aren't the only ones.

Anyway, Happy 1 month Anniversary!

I'm going to celebrate three ways - 1) by eating a 4th Dove Bliss Dark Chocolate piece right now, 2) singing Miranda Lambert's songs in my office (I'm surrounded by guys - they already don't get me), and 3) going out by myself to a bar tonight (well a friend will be there but I have to enter the bar alone). Ok - will tell you about it later! Have to go back to work (lunch is over).

Deal-breakers and Nice-to-Haves

This post has been on the idea list for ages. Earlier on, it would have been much easier to write. I don't know why I put it off. As time goes by and I get busy with the business of dating, it's hard to remember all the things I originally put on my bullet list for the man I want.

So here goes...(in no particular order):

• self-confidence
• independence
• healthy lifestyle (or willingness to have one) - he doesn't have to exercise as much as I do but he has to let me do it.
• strong worth ethic
• desire to have a family/children (sooner rather than later)
• responsibility with money
• common sense
• sense of humor
• self-reliant
• masculine (I'm looking for a guy's guy - no metrosexuals)

Gosh - do I want too much? I think I could use Dr. Phil right about now.

Ok - let's try deal-breakers...

• No physical chemistry
• No pre-marital sex (we've talked about this already here).
• Irresponsibility with money (If I can keep mine and other people's money, he can at least take care of his).
• No self-confidence (I don't do well with guys who can't make their own decisions.)

I think that's it for now...but I'm going to keep thinking about it and I'm sure I'll have another post to revise my list.

The Letter

As soon as I finished the book, I got the flu. Boo! (I'm better now.) But I spent alot of time on the couch and in bed, watching old movies and thinking. Thinking about what I could offer in a relationship. What I was looking for in a guy. I made mental lists (I am an accountant after all.) And I updated/created my profiles accordingly. I was so happy. And I really felt I owed it all to Ree (aka The Pioneer Woman). So after a week of thinking, I decided to do what I wanted to in my heart - to write the most heartfelt thank you letter.

So one night after work, I sat down and hammered it out. Then I sent it to Ann who said it was perfect and before I went to bed, it was off. Here's the letter:

Ree,

I wanted to send you an email to tell you THANK YOU. Thank you from the bottom of my heart because in the span of a week you have changed my life. I know that seems crazy and I hardly believe it myself, but it’s true.

About two weeks ago, I found your blog (via David Lebovitz) and I started reading a few entries. Your website was so funny so I decided to stop by Target and pick up your new book. I devoured it over a couple of nights and when I closed the book at the end, I had had an epiphany. I was no longer the independent 32 year-old single world travelling woman who was wondering if she even wanted to change her lifestyle for children and how she was going deal with sharing her decisions and life with a man. I was the woman who looked at her friends and just thought they were married so the next step was just to have kids.

I get it now. That’s not it at all. It’s about standing solidly with your feet on the ground next to a guy who is also solidly planted. It’s about the pride, satisfaction, and contentment in growing roots and raising children that are one day going to go off into the world. Just thinking about it gives me a lump in my throat. It’s the first thing I’ve ever wanted with my whole heart. I want it so bad I can taste it. I want it today and I’m praying everyday that it happens soon.

So I’m working to try and make it happen. I’m letting everyone around me know that this is what I want. And so I just wanted to let you know because you were the reason why it happened and why I am so deliriously happy. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Hopefully one day, I’ll get to thank you in person (you aren’t coming to DC on your book tour), but in the meantime, thank you!

Much love and gratitude,

-------- (Miss Scarlett's real name)

P.S. Since I’m telling everyone that I’m looking for a man, if you know any awesome cowboys who are looking for a cute brunette woman who is originally from a small town on the edge of farm country, send them in my direction. I’m sure I’ll have them laughing on my take on life out in the country. I can guarantee they’ll have clean drawers, a fully stomach, a warm bed, and a loyal wife. (Anything else is a maybe).

A quick note - The Pioneer Woman has a single cowboy on her ranch who is my age and cute (hence the PS note). Ann and I hope that she'll write me back and invite me out. She told me I have to bring her. Amen.

A blog and a book

OK - so the KitchenAid Mixer giveaway led me to the blog of The Pioneer Woman (thepioneerwoman.com). And I started looking around at a few entries in the Confessions section (homeschooling has no applicability to me, but I have since checked out cooking and photography). She was so funny and there was something about her adventures (with Marlboro Man and the kids) that made me laugh. See the Pioneer Woman is a country club town girl who lived in LA who married an Oklahoma rancher and now raises 4 kids on a cattle ranch in the country - random I know, but reading her thoughts I feel like she could be friends with us (she's kind of random and nutty like us).

So I discover she has a book about how she met her husband, The Pioneer Woman Black Heels to Tractor Wheels. And I was curious - how does a girl just living in LA end up with a cattle rancher. So a rainy Tuesday night, I run to Tar-jay and find it on the shelves. I snap it up and home I go. And I read. And not all at once (I do have work and things), but over the course of the next 5 or so days, and let me tell you I was a changed woman after that.

Maybe it was reading it little by little and thinking about it. Maybe it was all the reminders of my own family and growing up. Maybe it was the hope that it was all actually possible. I don't know but it is a true story and it's not self-help.

But as soon as I put the book down, I knew. It all became clear. I want to get married and have babies. I want to create a family. It was like a bolt of lightening. It was the clearest goal I've ever had in my life.

But I knew this book was really special when I passed it off to my married co-worker, Ann, as soon as I finished it and she had a similar but less intense reaction. She said it was also awesome. I reminded her of all the reasons why she fell in love with her husband and I see she is renewed in regards to him. (She also now sends me pictures she finds of the Marlboro Man on Google - I call her a stalker.)

So there you go. I've revealed the book. It's not by Oprah or Dr. Phil. It's not The Secret (I couldn't get into it.) It's an almost romance novel about a crazy redhead and her cowboy in Oklahoma. Pick it up. I'd lend you my copy but another co-worker has it. I think everyone will get something (if only enjoyment) out of it.

Stuck in Neutral...

So let's start from the beginning. To start, we have to go back about a year. Yes, I've been stuck in neutral for about a year. Going nowhere fast - unable to move forward - just treading water - unable to make decisions. And it started to get depressing. I didn't know what I wanted. I didn't know where I was going. And I didn't know how to get out of it.

Don't worry I'm not sad about it. It was a learning experience. There is nothing any of you could do about. After I while I started recognizing what was going on, and thank goodness I kept working out and even increased my workouts starting in January. Some days that is what got me through. It's what I looked forward to. Everything they say about physical activity giving you mental and emotional uplift is totally true.

So there I am stuck. Running in neutral, going through the motions. I also had a couple of guys that I liked or were set up with but it was rejection after rejection and it was tough (Thank you to everyone that set me up or assisted with those - I'm appreciate the effort.) And then one day I want to get out of the rut, so I start going to a therapist a friend recommended. And let me tell you it's really nice to just tell a third party everything about yourself and get little nuggets of advice back. She definitely planted a few small seeds in this change and has helped me after it.

One of the things we were talking about just before I had my epiphany was getting married and having children. For months, I had been struggling with the idea of sharing my life and decisions with a man. Had I been single for too long? Was I too independent? Would I really want to get someone else's opinion on my plans or decisions? And then kids? I've traveled all over the world and have hobbies and fun (and a job that is an hour away from my house). Could I really give that up for kids? How would I juggle? (Don't get me wrong I love kids, but it's a huge responsibility.)

And then a morning a few days after that session, I'm standing at my vanity, checking my Facebook feed and a blog that I read about baking (David Lebovitz - www.davidlebovitz.com) has a post about a KitchenAid mixer giveaway. And I'm thinking well I'm never getting married, so let me see (since I'll have to buy my KitchenAid mixer)...and I happened onto this blog...

PS. If you like delicious looking baked goods/desserts or want to know what it's like to live as an American in Paris, I recommend David Lebovitz's blog. The pictures alone are worth a peek.

Welcome!

So why did I start this blog? It's probably because I've been reading too many blogs and since I've given up celebrity gossip for Lent, I need to find something to fill my time. But really it's because as many of you know, I've recently had an epiphany! (When I just typed that, it came out in my mind in OPRAH voice - you know the one.)

Yes, as my therapist says, I'm in a period of transition and my transition is happening. Since my friends are so interested in my new goals and life and you'all live all over the place, I just thought in order to keep everyone up to date I should just start blogging. That way I'm current with all of you and you can post me advice and messages along the well. Let's be honest - I'm a huge dork when it comes to relationships.

So a few ground rules. This is going to be my goings on so it might not be funny/cute/sad/hilarious, etc. (ie. it may be boring - sorry!). I promise I will try and be totally current and up-to-date on posts. I will be honest (please just don't share this with my mother yet or your mother - I know many of your mothers). And I will change the names to protect the innocent and name all the guilty (aka. my friends - because they love me anyway).

So here we go. FYI - over the next couple of days, I will backfill what's been going on for the past 2 weeks and how I got to this point.

Love, Miss S